Obsessive/Compulsive?

[Drusilla]

I've noticed my friends daughter sings a little rhyme over and over when she is putting her toys away. If they are not in order, she takes them all down and starts over. It looks sweet and my friend is just glad she tidies up, but I've never seen this type of intense behaviour in a four year old before. Any comments?

[Dakota]

That is pretty intense Drusilla. I guess since it's not your child the best you can do is point this out to your friend just to make her aware that this isn't so "normal" - I'm not saying that kids tidying up after them is not normal.

If your friend agrees that this isn't normal 4 year old behaviour then she could try helping her daughter by making a game out of tidying up by just throwing the toys in the box and giggling (or something)

I really don't think your friend should encourage this intensity though, it could lead her and her daughter to so much problems as she gets older.

[rampart]

I have noticed our toddlers have quite an interest in order, stacking certain toys in particular ways. My son, for example, insists that toy automobiles have their headlights all facing the same direction when they are on the shelf. They both like songs, but I have not heard them sing while they put everything in an order that suits them.

I suspect it is normal behaviour for little ones to be a bit obsessed with a few things. At least mrs rampart tells me not to worry.

[phae]

Yes, this is quite normal, but it can also be a sign of asphergers (a mild form of autism). If this behavious is coupled with the child be very distant / unattached, or if the child is showing other signs such as aggressive behaviour and difficulty in relating to others, then perhaps you could get some information about it and kindly inform your friend. It doesnt mean there's anything wrong with the child, it just requires some understanding.

If the other behaviours are not present, i wouldnt worry about it. Its just kids doing things that makes them feel good.

[Gathorne]

I don't think it's anything to worry about. My 3 year old does a lot of repetitive behaviour. I think this obsessive behaviour with toys is the child having control over something in it's life because we parents control everything else about their life and behaviour. I recently found my "Pippa" car that I put away 25 years ago and all the dolls were lined up, clothes folded, and every tiny plate and bit of cutlery in it's place - I wish I was that tidy now!

[jno]

kids try to impose order on the world much as they see their parents doing. Unless it's accompanied by other symptoms such as phae suggests, I wouldn't worry about it. In 10-15 years your friend will be yearning for this sort of behaviour from a shambolic teenager.

[Dakota]

I stand corrected, but I don't have kids so I'd be freaked if my kid was doing that - I'll remember this thread when I am blessed with little monkeys of my own and they're acting like that :)

[andy hughes]

It's perfectly normal at this age - as others have confirmed. Children at this ager are very routine-based, and it gives them security. The repetition of this action, together with the song, gives your friend's daughter a comforting sense of order and neatness - which sadly, rarely lasts into adulthood! So don't worry, it's OK - nice of you to be concerned enough to invstigate.

[joko]

could it be that your freind has taught her this behaviour, drilled it into her, but doesn't admit to you?

What is her response to the childs behaviour?

Are the parents over tidy?

If so I would talk to your friend as its not healthy for such a young mind to have forced regimentation