Power Of Attorney If It's Not What The Donor Wants

[CW1]

Hi,

An estranged relative will shortly be leaving hospital after a Section 2, then a Section 3, was issued, moving in to a care home. He now has dementia & I've been told he's not capable of making his own decisions (I haven't seen him for nearly 2 years but have been regularly updated by the hospital). Some weeks ago a home assessment was made to see if he could return there, but he told the hospital he didn't want me or my siblings to know what was in the subsequent report. So I'm guessing he wouldn't want me / us having PoA.

PoA had originally been suggested by a doctor a couple of years ago, pre dementia, but wasn't something we were prepared to take on. The subject hasn't been raised since.

Given he didn't want us to know what was in the report, & there was animosity on his part the last time any of us saw him, I'm pretty sure he'd be dead against PoA if he were asked, dementia or not. He does have substantial savings (tho' don't know where other than £30k in premium bonds, or how much, I've never been interested) & at least 2 good pensions. What will happen once he's in a care home ? Under the Section 3 (therefore Section 117's invoked) he won't need to pay for care, so what will happen with his finances ? I have no personal interest but still wouldn't like to see what could be his grandkids' inheritance "disappear" (don't know what his will says so they may not inherit anyway). Friends say PoA is the only way forward, regardless of his probable feelings towards us.

What will happen to his home, who will deal with that ?

Has anyone any experience of this ?

[Flonska]

There is some information here which may help:-

https://www.gov.uk/become-deputy

[CW1]

I did see that Flonska, but the gov.uk website doesn't really address what happens if the donor doesn't want any particular individuals having that "power" (for want of a better word). I guess it doesn't matter then, once confirmation was received from a doctor, we [could] just go ahead & do it - without him knowing (?). Really ?

[Flonska]

Maybe you should talk to the Doctor and/or the Care Home at least in general terms as to the options that may be available since they are more likely to have had to deal with situations like this?

[CW1]

Yeah, maybe, though he's still in the hospital at the moment so no care home to contact yet. I haven't spoken to siblings yet either, I just wanted to get an idea of if it was even possible first.

[ubasses]

If he has already diagnosed as not capable of making his own decisions it is too late for a POA. Flonksa's link is appropriate and the Court will decide if he needs a Deputy and if you are suitable and will act in your relatives best interests.

[atalanta]

I have close experience of such a situation. My father was adamant that he would not grant power of attorney, or move into a care home. But once it was clear he had lost all grip on reality, my brother and I had to go to the Court of Protection to gain powers to look after him and his assets. It was a harrowing and expensive business. The trickiest bit of the process may be finding someone ( or several people ) willing to take on the responsibility. The deputy or deputies will be obliged to see all health ( etc ) reports, and his will, and must have access to his home and all records to do with his income and outgoings, and tax affairs, etc. Deputies have to send accounts to the Court of Protection to show they are not embezzling any assets. It's a tough job. Good luck.
.

[CW1]

Thanks all, particularly atalanta for sharing your experience, that's what I needed to know.
As soon as I saw "reports" on the gov.uk website I thought this isn't something realistically I can get involved in. Harsh as it may sound, I don't need more "harrowing, expensive, tough" in my life ...

[Flonska]

I really do wish you well in looking after your relative and his affairs.

My sister and I are now dealing with my mother's estate since she died 3 months ago. 15 years earlier, we recognised the need to make sure that her and my late father's affairs were properly organised and, although they already had Wills, they, with our help, approached solicitors to draw up Powers of Attorney. Yes, it cost money at the time but, although we did not need to invoke the POA in either case, we still regard it as a sound investment. At the same time as my parents, we had similar documents drawn up for ourselves, even though we were still only in our 50's. We now have that peace of mind knowing that proper decisions will be made should we become similarly incapacitated and that our attorneys should not be constrained from acting in our best interests nor become embroiled in having to seek further judicial approval and all that entails, as alluded to by Atlanta, to manage our affairs and arrange for the care we might need and deserve.

We always recommend to everyone we speak to that, if they haven't already, they should review their position sooner rather than later and to put their affairs in order without delay so as to avoid being confronted with situations similar to the one you appear to be faced with.

[CW1]

Sound advice, Flonska. Unfortunately we were estranged for many, many years, & it was only after hearing from a solicitor who wanted to check our contact details (we assume in relation to his will though I'd been told by his sister he was leaving it to a cat's home) that we got in touch again. Even then it was an on / off relationship, culminating in his 1st hospital admission about 2yrs ago, which is when PoA was 1st mentioned. We (my siblings & I) didn't feel we could pursue that then, & now, it seems, it's too late. But I'm sure he wouldn't want that anyway. Our relationship is "off" at the moment, & likely to stay that way now I guess (though I do keep in touch with the hospital about his welfare) so I'm not inclined to go that seemingly extra infinite-number-of-miles now when a) he still wouldn't like it ! b) while I've never been interested in his finances (though I know he's "well heeled" - I tried to get him to spend some of it when we were "on", before he went into hospital in 2015, made his life more comfortable), I'm not about to spend £100s to set in motion something I know he wouldn't want.

Food for thought for me though. Mind you, my priority as far as that goes should probably be making *my* will, gulp.