This Is About Grief.

[Tilly2]

I have just watched this. I found it really helpful.

ww.bbc.co.uk/news/av/stories-43227108/why-grief-is-not-something-you-have-to-get-over

[Garaman]

http://www.bbc.com/news/av/stories-43227108/why-grief-is-not-something-you-have-to-get-over

[Tilly2]

Thank you, Garaman. :-)

[ethandron]

I so agree. Grief is grief and takes many forms. There is no time scale, no two people react the same, it is what it is.
I really feel for people who are told it's been six months or two years or whatever, and they should be getting over it. Or they need counselling. People react differently.

[Tilly2]

Hopefully, others will look at it and it will help them too, Eth.

[murraymints]

How true

[Patsy33]

Thanks Tilly. Will read a bit later..

[ethandron]

Indeed Tilly.

[Tilly2]

It's a video, Patsy. Simple but surprisingly accurate, I feel.

[Mamyalynne]

It's a well thought out piece and far better than some that give the impression there's a scale or set of stages in a rule book.

To me our grief is an extension to who we were before the death happened, some days it's a lighter part of us to carry than others - indeed on some days it can also be a source of comfort .

[jacpinetree17]

Thanks Tilly i will look at ur link. I lost my brother 19 December 17. He wasnt well 3 months in hosp. Taken its toll on me. I no he is out off pain now but dusnt make it any easier for me. I cry an miss him day an night. This feeling i have wont go. People tell me its GRIEF. How do they know how im feelin? jpt xxxx

[Jennykenny]

After my husband of forty years died, a friend told that grief is like a small boat on the ocean.
Sometimes you are drifting along fairly comfortably and other times you are completely overwhelmed by the waves of grief.
It’s been more than three years now and I think I’m coping, but last week I met friends in Spain that I hadn’t seen since M died, and describing how I scattered some of his ashes in the sea near where we lived in Spain just brought me to floods of tears again.
It never really leaves you.

[jacpinetree17]

jennykenny. Thats really nice what u said. I am a small boat on the ocean. Take care. Some days better than others. I just feel lost. jpt xxx

[Tilly2]

You will find yourself again, Jac, but you'll be a different you.

[NoMercy]

A timescale of grief depends on the person who is grieving, whom they're grieving for and the circumstances.

When my Nan died of cancer, despite being someone I loved with all my heart, I didn't grieve all that long. Aside from the fact that I was grieving for the loss of my relationship concurrently, I was relieved to see her suffering end.

When my brother ended his own life at the age of 24, it took me a long time to get my head around it. Years!

Denise Fergus... How the bejesus does that woman cope after what those two inhuman savages did to her innocent little child? I'd have lost the will to live if I were her.

Grief is very individual.

[ImLostAgain]

Thank you for that. It may...just may, stop me from rushing towards the end I feel I'm looking/heading for.
I've never seen grief explained better.
Thanks again.

[Jennykenny]

I’mLostAgain,
Please talk to people who can help.

[woofgang]

Tilly2 "You will find yourself again, Jac, but you'll be a different you."

This is very true...not always cheering when you realise how you have changed but true none the less.

[woofgang]

I am not sure that talking to people always helps and people should not feel guilty if it doesn't help them....
On Will and Grace, Karens maid Rosario died. The script has Karen saying “People keep asking, ‘What do you need? What do you need?’” Karen says, mocking everyone’s concerned tone to Rosario’s casket once everyone else is finally gone. But then she immediately crumbles, just a little, as she continues: “I need for you to not be gone.”

[Mamyalynne]

“I need for you to not be gone” says it all.

[woofgang]

yes Mamya.....It took me ages to work out that people offer you what they have got both out of love and to make them feel better because they are doing something. I don't mean that nastily, its a fact.