Just Come Back From A Consultation At The Local Hospital

[Jackdaw33]

I was dreading it as I thought they were going to tell me I had liver cancer. In the event it turned out that I had some permanent damage to my pancreas, due to a bout of severe pancreatitis 10 years ago which had also developed a cyst. So far, so good. Then the doctor made the mistake of asking me if this could be related to my alcohol intake. Then the red mist descended and I rose on my high horse.

I am not an alcoholic. Alcoholics go to meetings, sit around in circles and say things like,'My name's Jack and I'm an alcoholic, when everybody claps'. When deprived of alcohol or tobacco, as I have been during the past three years from time to time, I experience no withdrawal symptoms, just a slight nostalgia. I repeat, Doctor, I am not an alcoholic, I am a p!$$ artist. Learn the difference!

[ChillDoubt]

But you don’t need to be classed as an alcoholic if you’re exceeding your RDI, it’s still not healthy and undoubtedly a factor.
Maybe your GP was giving you a little heads-up that you might want to ease up a little, that’s all.

[jno]

perhaps you could just have said "No"?

[Peter Pedant]

Oh - well cut down anyway

I was told my neutropenia was due to rituximab and I said
" that usually occurs within six weeks and this is twelve months" and the registrar said
are you trying to tell me my job ?
and I replied
no - I am engaging with you so that you can give a higher quality interview to other patients.....
(gout)

anyway best to cut down ....

[Garaman]

I recall Christopher Hitchens saying something similar. Hope all is OK, Jack, and you can enjoy a few more for some time to come.

[Postdog]

Ditto the high horse! I had acute pancreatitis about eight years ago, and EVERY doctor who saw me started with "and how much do you drink?" I lost it a few times then, I can tell you.

The thing is, I am currently suffering from a hiatus hernia, only recently diagnosed. When I first went to the doctor about it, I saw a doctor never seen before. First thing he did was see that on my records, and quite literally he asked me three times how much I drank. He wouldn't drop it.

I needed advice, so I didn't just walk, but I told him straight, one more reference to my honestly non existent drinking history, a complaint would be made.

Hope all goes well for you.

[Cloverjo]

Doctors always ask how much you drink. It's their job, even if your condition seems irrelevant to alcohol consumption.

[rowanwitch]

It doesn't take huge amounts of alcohol for some people to develop damage so it has to be the main line of approach when cancer is ruled out.,

[Sqad]

^^^^ or pancreatitis.^^^^

[choux]

Jack, I will raise my glass to you tonight and I hope you reciprocate! I am glad you had some good news today.

[DTCwordfan]

^^^^or you are pregnant and let us give you an abortion pill without permission^^^^ as recently happened to my daughter (and despite a birth-control implant and her permission).

The good news being that the said gastric case-doctor and two of his colleagues have had their licences to act at the hossie removed as of the end of the month - and over other cases, not ours.

[Tilly2]

I'm still not sure of the differentiation between 'p!$$ artist' and 'alcoholic'. Could someone explain, please?

[Mamyalynne]

I think it means sometimes the Doctors touch a nerve with the questions they ask.

Well they do with me, but I don't react much.

[Jackdaw33]

Simples, Tilly. Alcoholics have withdrawal symptoms if deprived, ***artists don't.

[Tilly2]

Thank you, Jack.

[Tilly2]

So, what's the definition of a 'p!$$ artist'?

[Jackdaw33]

Someone who loves drinking but is not addicted to it.

[DTCwordfan]

and who just says, next morning, 'hic' and 'where's the Sqad Ibuprofen pack' - and not asking where the next drink or Vodka is......

[Tilly2]

Okey-dokey.

[NoMercy]

I am delighted to hear that you've been given good news regarding your health. I shall toast you with a glass of Chardonnay!

[Patsy33]

Glad the outcome wasn't as bad as expected Jack. All the best x