Autistic Teenager

[Smowball]

I’m trying to find out info for a friend, without over questioning her personally. She has 4 children aged between 18 - 23. The 18yr old boy is autistic. I’ve met him many times. I know the autistic spectrum is huge so can only comment on what I’ve seen and what she says. Basically she is really upset as she says he seems to have ‘Slipped through the system’ and there is no help available. He went to an assisted school, then did college for a year with a classroom help and someone to take him there and back on bus. Now college say there is nothing else to offer him. So he is home alone all day whilst her and hubby work fully time to support everyone. He is obsessed with video games and spends his entire day in his room. He’s alsmost stopped eating and is incredibly underweight, even though he has always been thin. He can talk relatively ok but only on what he is obsessed with ie dinosaurs and Star Wars. She doesn’t know what to do, what help she can get, but her words are he is wasting away doing nothing and having no life. He will never be able to live alone, but there must be some help out there??

[Mamyalynne]

Assistance does seem to drop away after full time education.

Get her to contact these people to find what support there may be - they have a helpline.

http://www.autism.org.uk/about/adult-life.aspx

[rowanwitch]

Specialist residential colleges might offer an answer. I know of one in Harborne Birmingham and Autism charities almost certainly can point her towards something more local. The college will probably have staff trained to apply for funding and there is full time support available.

[rowanwitch]

It is surprising how far they can be pushed once away from family who are too tired and caught up in the day to day situation to keep up with the latest ways of working with young people in this situation.

[Smowball]

It’s very difficult and she is stressed beyond belief, saying she has failed him.

[anneasquith]

Has the young lad actually been diagnosed as autistic ?

[rowanwitch]

No she hasn't failed him, but she has possibly loved him too much so rather than upsetting him she may be taking the line of least resistance. Maybe he will never be able to live independently but with the right support and a disciplined setting who knows if he might improve.,

[Smowball]

Yes he was clinically diagnosed as autistic aged 5

[rowanwitch]

Help is still out there, she may need to write lots of letters to official bodies to harass them into action with multiple copies to create a multi pronged approach but I went through this with a friend and her son. It took about 6 months but now he is in college learning basic public service skills and may eventually be able to work with ongoing support.

[sherrardk]

Get your friend to contact your local sendirect (used to be called parent partnership). They have knowledge of what is available locally and how to access different services (they were brilliant when I needed help about support for thing 2).

[Smowball]

Thankyou so much everyone