Depression

[-SharonA-]

One of my nephews has been diagnosed with depression and my brother has asked all the family to help.
My question is: Would you want someone texting you everyday to ask how you are?? or would you do it so often? I don't want to depress my nephew even more.

[TonyV]

is he receiving any medication?

[Rockrose]

Send a text saying that you are there if he wants to talk then leave it for a few days and just touch base again.
Depends whats causing the depression

[TonyV]

Is he seeing his GP or in hospital?

[-SharonA-]

He was recently promoted to manager of a department and he hates the job. Hence the depression.

[jim360]

Perhaps you could ask your nephew -- it's generally important to let him guide the help he gets, what form it takes, how, etc.

I'd probably go for every so often, especially considering that all of the family may be helping in one way or another. But regardless of what you all decide, best wishes to him and hope he gets the help he needs. Clearly, could not have asked for a kinder family and aunt :)

[Rockrose]

I should add when I was signed off with depression I appreciated the odd text but felt overwhelmed with constant contact.

[-SharonA-]

Apparently he was in hospital and he claimed they did not help him at all. Now released he is going to therapy.

[TonyV]

well do you now whats causings him to feel down?

[Buenchico]

Possibly worth reading:
https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/stress-anxiety-depression/signs-someone-is-depressed/

[237SJ]

I agree with Rockrose. I wouldn't text him every day.

[Peter Pedant]

I think he needs to change his job

[-SharonA-]

Thanks Jim, such kind words.
I will text him every few days and let him know I am here. My brother feels that his son cannot talk to him so he is hoping I can get him to open up. He does not want to go back to his job.

[wolf63]

Treat him as you normally do, when I am depressed I appreciate not being treated like I was fragile.He

It is a horribly misunderstood illness.

[TonyV]

if he's been promoted without asking for it, it can make you feel really down.

[TonyV]

If his work or HR department are a good one, then perhaps they will understand that he dosent want new job and was happy doing what his previous job title entailed and could cope with happily with that work load and responsibility.

[jakep]

An awful condition that affects each individual differently. Some days I want to be totally alone but then get worse because no one is contacting me.
My advice would be to try and speak to him. If not possible then email.
Tell him you love him, don’t want to pressure him and that he can contact you ANY time. But also stress that you will contact him regularly and that he is allowed to just grunt at you.
My very best wishes

[jim360]

I should add my voice to the general call that if his depression can be so easily tracked to a single obvious source, ie promotion to a job he hates, then it's important to address that directly. I am not sure if that means asking to be moved back down or just moving on, but either way he clearly shouldn't stay in that job for much longer.

[-SharonA-]

Thanks for all your replies. Nephew has been signed off for 3 months. He applied for said job and got promotion which seems to have been a bad move for him. He is giving up the job completely and the company he works for.
Our next goal is to lift him from this depression. He refuses to talk at the moment so we are giving him time and not keeping on at him.

[jennyjoan]

good news that he has left a job he so hates - he will feel better soon. Good luck to him. As somebody has said - depression is such an isolated disease. Badly misunderstood and hardly anyone knows what to do. And the professionals don't want to know either.

[TonyV]

Jennjoan I would disagree, depends on what specialist you get, some can be very good.