Suggestions For Helping Ill Elderly M-I-L

[jackthehat]

Background;
83 year-old woman living on her own some 200 miles away from all family members in Northamptonshire.
She is just getting over some sort of laryngitis infection but can still barely be heard over the telephone.
She recently fell and after hours on the floor was admitted to hospital – chest X-rays showed her lungs to be clear but she has a damaged foot (details are a bit vague).
She was discharged back home but has since developed severe diahorrea to the extent that she has soiled much of her bed-linen and many of her clothes. She is also having trouble keeping food down: vomiting unexpectedly.

Her daughters are at their wits end – trying to organise anything from distance with the reduced services available is proving impossible.
They don’t know what to do for the best. Given current circumstances, can anyone suggest what they might do in the same situation?

[AuntPollyGrey]

Agree with bookbinder, if no one is in a position to help then get onto an Agency and pay for a full time nurse.

[woofgang]

phone GP on monday but I'd be back on 999. Informally look on her loacal facebook pages there's quite a bit of emergency help and links being posted on there.

[iluvmargie]

In what way is it not suitably arranged? I would move heaven and earth to accommodate my poorly Mum.

[anneasquith]

I hope mum comes to no harm till a service helps her .

[anneasquith]

Good luck . Difficult times .

[AuntPollyGrey]

ilurvemarji, really you can't make judgement, some people find the thought of having to look after someone intimately quite abhorrent -I know I couldn't do it but would have her at home under supervision and employ someone as a nurse. We've got a small cottage but housed 2 extra members of our family in an emergency that lasted 6 weeks -bit of a squash with us on a mattress in the living room but that's what you do in an emergency isn't it?

[sherrardk]

Contact social services emergency out of hours team?

[iluvmargie]

Hope it can be sorted. I know it is difficult.

[TheDevil]

I would go to live with my mother. Temp career during this time.

[Apc2604]

I would think that, in present circumstances, it would be difficult get an agency nurse and they cost a fortune. It may not be financially viable.

[AuntPollyGrey]

The Devil you're a good lad. My eldest son lives 250 miles away with two kiddies under 5 but texts me every evening to see how I am and if I need anything -and I'm living with two adults in the house!

[Eve]

Has she tried to speak to a GP or via 111 and, if not, is she able, and willing to try and speak to 111 (or authorise family to speak to them), see if she can get an out of hours telephone appointment?

Is she able to check her temperature and heart rate, for any signs that she could have an infection which really needs to be seen to. With her foot, was there any kind of open wound and, if so, how it is? Are there any signs of infection there?

Does she have any conditions which would class her as extremely vulnerable? To help with any care needs, supplies, medication, washing products etc... If so, she can register here for help when the community hubs are set up: https://www.gov.uk/coronavirus-extremely-vulnerable. However, it sounds like there may be a delay in getting official NHS volunteers set up as they have to go through a security clearance.

For more day to day needs, getting food, medication etc..., there may be a local group to here where people are offering their help, quite a few about on Facebook. Obviously need to check they are legitimate but could be worth asking if anyone there can help with anything.

Say if she can speak to a medical professional and if she is prescribed or advised to use any medication which needs to be picked up, rehydration sachets if needed, any products which might be able to help her cope like plastic sheeting for under bedsheets or incontinence products (nappy type pads/plastic over-knickers etc...) to help reduce to burden of so much soiled bedding and clothing? Extra washing products for clothes/bedding and personal hygiene, cheap packs of extra pants, extra nighties etc... Things to help her get by at home if needed.

Even things like puppy pads are cheap and easy to get hold of by someone shopping for her, easy to pop under her on a chair or in bed.

[jackthehat]

TD - But your mother is not elderly, doesn't live alone and is not far away from you...

We have tried to find an Agency Nurse but they are as rare as Hen's teeth at the minute.
Mad as it may appear to some....we are all taking the quarantine advice seriously. Everyone concerned (me included) has other family members (some in the 'vulnerable' groups) to consider.

[AuntPollyGrey]

JTH how do you know iothers on here aren't taking the Quarantine rules seriously? Getting in a car to drive to a vulnerable old person in an emergency does not contravene self-isolation rules. You are literally getting out of the car, putting an old woman in the car and driving for a couple of hours back to someone's home. I would think the risk to both yourself, your vulnerable associates and your elderly relative would be minimal.

[jackthehat]

APG - Few people know, for certain, their own viral status at the moment.
I might have it, Mrs JtH might, Mrs JtH's Mum might....

Anyway, I think you have made your feelings crystal clear on our situation, thank you for your input.

[AuntPollyGrey]

JTH you are welcome. I'm not the only one suggesting you go bring her home, but thanks for singling me out for appreciation. I'm sure everyone is hoping the situation can be resolved, it must be a huge worry.

[ladybirder]

Sounds to me like she needs hospitalising. Phone her GP now as the call should be forwarded to an emergency doctor. What a terrible position to be in, poor lady.

[jno]

I think divegirl has put her finger on it: as things stand nationwide right now, if family can't do anything to help, nobody else is likely to. I'd also share vulcan's concern about dehydration. Even if it happened in my home I would probably be calling 111; since she can't speak properly, there's a strong case for someone else calling 999 (though how exactly services might get to her I don't know).

It's a bad time to fall ill, but your concerns about Corvid-19 are entirely reasonable.

[Maydup]

Oh gosh what a dilemma for you. Any extended family you can call on to assist? The options are really limited, but it might help to think about what you would have done in non Coronavirus days. Eliminate them one by one and probably keep trying hard for some private nursing.

Try ringing her GP surgery tomorrow for advice and for some local contacts, try Age UK.

[Apc2604]

I rang 999 for a friend in crisis in another area and they then contacted the ambulance service for her area who went out to her. She had no say in it.

I hope you can sort it JTH. You must be worried.