Shy

[duanz]

Can anybody tell me the way to overcome shyness.

[mattie]

I was painfully shy as a child, but what helped me was to get a job that forced me to interact with other people, I did bar work for a while, it helped me. If it is with the opposite sex, be yourself, don't try to be something your not.

[slinkywizard]

8 Pints of Stella.

[flirty41]

I've never really grown out of it. I've just had to accept that I'll never be good in crowds or with strangers. Even if you can't actually contribute to a discussion, try not to appear aloof or disinterested, which is how shyness can sometimes come across. As Tartanwizard said, be a good listener, and be yourself - people will realise that you are what you are and will take account.

[Pinotage]

Pretend you are an actor playing a role. Practise some short bland phrases, such as 'nice weather', wonderful food', what a interesting building' etc (so you don;t get tongue tied when you have to say them.)

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Then take a deep breath, force a smile on you face, and go out and play your role. Pretend the camera is there, the director infront of you. What should you character do? Find someone on their own and ask them about themsleves. Let them talk, while you nod. Doesn't matter if its some old codger. Old codgers have beautiful daughers and good looking sons.

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I know its no help, but we're all shy really. It took me years to speak to people, now my partner says how outgoing I am. But I'm terrified inside, but an actor always has stage fright and I can't let the director down.

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It gets a little easier each time.

[quattro]

i used to be shy myself especially with the opposite sex unless i had got myself bladdered it does improve with age and it helps if you practice with certain groups of people,shop assistants are usually ideal people to engage in the 'nice day' type of chatter knowing that you can escape from them when you like even if you have made a fool of yourself , using websites like this one must be a help too as you can say your little piece and vanish and not feel you have to get into some discussion like they have in some chat room sites .the best people of all to overcome your shyness with are the old ,they have all day to talk,they will appreciate you spending time talking to them,they will think you are brilliant if you can work their video or sattelite tv and they forget everything you say so you can bore them several times over. it does take time to overcome shyness but it helps if you smile and be nice to people

[davver]

Samll talk to get to know someone or to keep with friends I used to find very difficult, and unless the other person was nattering away nineteen to the dozen it was awkward. Now I find a lot of my friends (girls anyway) are people who talk a lot. What I find helpful is whilst you're on the way somewhere to think about what you're going to say, and have a few conversation rescuers - everyone likes to talk about their holiday, or car maybe, or some bone of contention that could get a discussion going - but not an argument. It is also useful to try and think up an unusual question that you might ask them, then they'll remember you (first triumph!) and also remember you as an interesting person. Keep in mind that overcoming shyness can be a long process, so stick at it and good luck!

[Flanj]

You've got to remember that you don't always have to be talking or be with people who talk a lot. If you can be comfortable with silence in company, you can learn to relax and not feel like every word you say or every move you make is being judged. People are generally too wrapped up in themselves to attach significance to everything you do. If you can learn to love yourself, allow yourself to be a bit silly once in a while (even if you're on your own!) and make yourself smile then you will be happier with yourself and it will show. This will give you a glow that people will be drawn to and make them willing to take more time to get to know you properly. Those that wont are not your type of people anyway. Also bear in mind that shyness in itself is not a problem unless it is becoming detrimental to the way you live your life. If you are happy being shy, stay like that. If you aren't then give yourself a chance; it wont be easy and it will take time so don't go beating yourself up if you are not giving public speeches by next month. This is just my idea of what works for me. Tartanwizard's advice seems pretty top-notch and I suspect he/she may have missed their calling. Lots and lots of luck!

[solid]

mke eye contact an smile.........

[roomby]

it helps me to remember that the people I'm with are probably feeling shy too. Think about how they are feeling and ask yourself whether you can do something to put them at ease. Remember that it doesn't matter what you say - people usually appreciate the effort. Even if you blush as you speak, people will be thinking 'I'm not the only one who feels shy'. Most people are focused on themselves, focussing on other people helps you to feel less shy and makes them like you.

[Champagne]

Yeah. It's about 3 miles past Confidence Village, just off Assurance Street.

[friendlymole]

Seroxat, available from your GP, is a drug which as well as treating depression (extremely successfully, in my case!) is also sometimes prescribed for shyness. Be aware, though, that it's extremely difficult to stop taking it, and it causes some sexual dysfunction!

[lea-lea]

I'm afraid to say that in my opinion there is no easy way to overcome shyness. What i found did honestly work was to put myself in purposefully difficult situations whih required me to be pushy or loud (join a group like acting classes) and after a while you get so used to forcing yourself to overcome the shyness it just becomes the norm.

[Tha-Flash]

Just dont be afraid to say what you want, your no different than anybody else. Dont worry about what others think of you if its negative. Try and make conversation with people, i'm doing the same, even if it is just asking for the time or asking where something is... Its still communication :) good luck.