Xmas, Just What Do You Buy...

[nailit]

Someone with a terminal illness?
My old mum has far exceeded her life expectancy after been diagnosed last year.
Wasnt expecting her to be with us LAST xmas, never mind this one, but she is. Bedridden etc but still fully (mentally) functional and with all her marbles etc.
As painful as it is to see your mother dying, bedridden and in pain, but still fully functional, just what the hell do you buy her for xmas??
She may or may not be with us by then, but how the hell to deal with it and what to buy?
I want to make it her best.....

[237SJ]

Is your Mum's bed near a window where she can look out? If so, maybe you could buy a bird feeder so that she can watch the birds.

[ummmm]

I know it's hard with a terminally ill parent but....why do you have to buy anything? Give her as much of your time as you possibly can.

Bedridden and in pain....she's not going to enjoy presents.

Maybe get a family photo framed.

[Buenchico]

In a similar situation (except that it was a birthday, rather than Christmas) I asked my mother what she'd like me to buy her. She said that she just wanted to look her best in bed and asked me to get her a really nice nightdress. The one I bought her cost a lot (thirty-odd quid back in the mid-eighties) but I reckoned it was worth it. She clearly liked it and asked to be buried in it.

I'm not suggesting that you should buy your mother a nightdress (although it's certainly a possibility). I'm simply suggesting that you should do as I did and ask your mother what she'd like most.

[pixie374]

Usually, I'd say time.... visitors as she can cope, letters, photo albums etc. This year, that will be much harder... depending what we are allowed to do. Anything she enjoys, or anyone she particularly wants to see. I think the actual gifts will be less important than who x

[tamborine]

cell phone or tablet if she hasnt got one.

[calmck]

Some nice lotion for feet and back massage. Any time of pillow support to make her more comfortable in bed. A bed jacket or fleecy stole. Calming aromatherapy candle or incense

[MallyJ]

I love the night dress idea...I wonder if she would like a home pamper type hour of two...hairdresser, manicure... you will know what she may like..I would always involve her favourite chocolates and a perfume. My mother and grand mother loved eau de cologne ... a scent that is light and fresh.....

[TonyV]

How about a donation card to her favourite charity, if she has one

[MartinMillar]

We bought dad his favourite sweets and food even having it sent from Scotland a lovely warm sherpa blanket, bird feeders and dvds of his favourite band playing.
The smile that broke across his face when he had a abroath smokies followed by a yum yum was amazing and incredibly sad .

[Tilly2]

Some lovely ideas so far.

A bouquet of flowers, perfume and a big box of her favourite chocolates. (If she is able to eat them.)
Comfort things.

[rowanwitch]

Music, Dave's birthday was a few days before he died, I bought some new age stuff that included things related to the sea, waves, gulls calling,and sounds of a seaport. things that would take him out of the now and back to happier times.

Perhaps something relevant to your mum's life, something where she could close her eyes and drift into memories.

[nailit]

All good suggestions, thank you all.