Where Did It All Go Wrong?

[Atheist]

Do you remember being a little girl or boy, full of energy, joy and zest? Are you like that now? What happened to change you? (if you did change).

[pixie374]

As an adult, I just take things more seriously, as I am more aware of consequences now. I had a great childhood mostly, but it is normal for kids to want to grow up. I wouldn't go back, even if it does now make me think twice before I lie on the floor to play with granddaughter:-)

[Atheist]

Andy. I think I had a decent childgood; I had no father and obviously felt odd, but had the energy of youth. I do remember thinking that I didn't want to grow up, because grown-ups had no fun - I must have sensed the difficult life that me mam had.
Were you badly treated? I wasn't; me mam loved me. And me dad (not that I had someone who I called "me dad") wasn't
there and I didn't miss him because he didn't exist in my world.
Were you actually badly treated? And when was that, and where?

[Atheist]

Roy, I'm not jealous of you and I didn't have any intention of insulting you. Sometimes people say honest things to you.

[Atheist]

Pixie; why do you not want to lie on the floor to play with your granddaughter? (And surely you are too young to be a grandmother!)

[andy-hughes]

Atheist - // Were you actually badly treated? And when was that, and where? //

My family was disfunctinal - my sisters and I (both older than me) grew up in a house where simmering tension was the norm, and a row could erupt at any time, and usually did.

I was mentally abused by my father until he left home when I was twenty-four, he constantly belittled me and we lived in a situation bordering on hostilty for as long as i could remember.

The day he left I was delighted beyond belief and I never saw or heard from him again, and was even more delighted about that as well.

My mother was a weak woman and never gave me the support a mother should give her child. I tried to maintain a relationship with her, even though she scorned my choice of wife, and spurned my children.

She used to go to either of my sisters' families for Christmas dinner - I invited her for Christmas dinner every year for thirty-five years, she never came once.

My father died years ago, I found out afterwards, and my mother died three years ago - both of them are utterly unmourned by me.

[royfromaus]

Have the courage of your convictions.

[rowanwitch]

I was an introverted child, I struggled with relationships probably due to losing my dad very young , was bullied, and generally lonely. I might have dodgy knees, a bad back and depression, but I am a million miles from the broken childhood that shaped so much of my adult life.

[Rosie29]

My childhood was not ideal by any means
So "where did it all go wrong" doesn't apply. In my old age I feel that I am much much happier than I was then. But I am reasonably healthy and appreciate the important things in life more. Im a different person. We all change - day to day - year by year - and so does everyone eĺse. I have to remind myself to be aware of that.

[Atheist]

Sorry to hear that, Canary.

[Atheist]

It's sad to hear of kids who had difficult childhoods. An eye-opener for me. I thought that most kids started out as happy little souls given to the world by God, and then they had become rather bitter and twisted because of their upbringing and life experience; now it seems that they were dumped by God into a rather bad world.

[andy-hughes]

Atheist - It's not all bad.

Because of my experience, I vowed to make my girls move me exactly to the same level as I loathed my dad, and I made sure that happened.

Now I am blessed with grandchildren and a great-grandson and I am close to all my family, so I, and they, turned a bad experience into a good one.

[andy-hughes]

Atheist - // ... now it seems that they were dumped by God into a rather bad world. //

And why do you think God would do that?

Why did he choose me to grow up like that?

Not an issue for me - I don;t believe in God, I was just unlucky in my family - but for any Christians, it's just one more question to ask of their 'loving God' - and remember, I was just made miserable, I wasn't abused or starved, or any of the utterly horrible things some children go through.

Why does God allow that for innocent children who have done nothing to deserve it?

Not a question for me as I say - maybe one you have to grapple with - ?

[Atheist]

It's nice to know that many here feel that they are happier now than they were. What puzzles me is why there are some here who seem to be rather full of hate against 'the other'. Where did they learn that attitude?

[Atheist]

Andy; like you, I don't believe in god, so I don't have to grapple with why he did this or that - he didn't. We all have to work out what is right and what is wrong, and then act acordingly. All this religious morality arises from people's innate feelings about what is good and bad.

[Atheist]

Gness; my novel is a sequel to a very naughty attempt to write a money-spinning version of 50 shades. That was full of 'filth', but intended to be mainly full of love and passion and tragedy. This sequel is about the two main characters, who I could not leave in limbo: an old man and his granddaughter, she who fancies him without knowing who he is, and he who loves her without fleshly desires but who must not let her know who he is. All rather complicated, but I try to keep the action flowing.

[andy-hughes]

Atheist - did think you were a non-believer, as your AB name indicates - it was this -

I thought that most kids started out as happy little souls given to the world by God ... //

that threw me!

[Atheist]

Rowan and Rosie; it's good that you both feel better now that you did in your childhood.

[Atheist]

AH; not meant to be taken literally; one can speak about god in the Einsteinian sense i.e. 'God doesn't play dice...'

[pastafreak]

My childhood was *ok*...but I was severely overprotected. As the youngest...11 and 14 years between myself and elder brother and sister...I used to think it was just me. No bike, rollerskates, swimming. But I still felt curious and content with my little life. Found out mom was the same with us all, and her sisters kept telling her to loosen up. She was 3rd eldest of 11.
I had no grandparents...I can't count the visiting Italian granny who never spoke to me. Parents never spoiled me but I still felt loved...especially by mom. Funny...my brother was musing in an email recently about what a great dad ours was...taking him and my sister to all sorts of places...but he changed when we moved when I was 2.5yrs old. I read this, and wondered why I'd missed out because dad never spent a lot of time with me. I heard he was embarrassed when mum became pregnant with me...they were 40, and 46. Old in those days.
But, as I grew up, I became a bit more rebellious...and more of my own person. I hope my childhood taught me to give my daughter the freedom to be herself. I will say that my parents taught me to be accepting of all people, something I'm extremely grateful for.
Sorry if I've rambled a bit here.

[Atheist]

Rambling's good! Much better than ranting. Nice to hear from real people with no axe to grind. Did you collect maple syrup?