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One For The Oldies

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Canary42 | 20:49 Wed 24th Feb 2021 | ChatterBank
122 Answers
Eating in the Fifties.



Takeaway was an arithmetic operation.
Pizza was something to do with a Leaning Tower.
All crisps were plain, the only choice being whether to add the enclosed salt.
A Chinese Chippy was a foreign carpenter.
Rice was a pudding, never part of main course.
A Big Mac was what we wore when it rained.
Brown bread was something only the poor ate.
Oil was for lubricating, lard was for cooking.
Tea was made in a teapot using tea leaves and never green.
Coffee was Camp and came in a bottle.
Cube sugar was regarded as Posh.
Only Heinz made beans.
Fish didn’t have fingers.
Eating raw fish was poverty, not Sushi.
We hadn’t heard of yoghurt.
Spam was processed meat.
Healthy food consisted of anything edible.
People who didn’t peel potatoes were regarded as lazy.
Indian restaurants were only encountered in India.
Cooking outside was called camping.
Seaweed was not recognised food.
“Kebab” wasn’t even a word, never mind a food.
Sugar enjoyed a good Press, regarded as “White Gold”.
Corona was a bottled drink.
Prunes were medicinal.
Surprisingly, Muesli was readily available, it was called cattle feed.
Water came out of a tap, if anyone had suggested bottling it and charging more than petrol they would have become a laughing stock.
One thing never on the meal table was elbows.
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Sex - what the couple across the road practised on Saturday nights - dirty bugqgers.....
oh ay say crisps - - chips innit?
cheese straws anyone and the wrapping was izal bog paper but less smelly

and Pie za Pies were yeah dem

One thing never on the meal table was elbows.
no - - - cutlery - cutlery only on sunday..... luxury !

Well, the last one is familiar.
If you, as an ABER, can rig expenses that are phony,
While everyone believes that they are real;
If you can take long lunches with a News thread crony,
And make your 'Business-Finance' lead think you’ve closed a deal;
If you can get the Chatterbank daily crew to love you,
When in your heart of hearts you think they’re dirt;
If you can look alive to those above you,
When nine to five, outside GMEB, no effort you exert;

If you can seem 'Theland' free-thinking and courageous,
Yet always end up siding with Asquith;
If you can get a mammoth raise in wages,
Yet make her feel you’re working at a loss;
If every line that’s written here you’ve noted,
And every rule and precept you obey,
Then to the highest spot you’ll be promoted,
Unless, of course, you’re Chatterbank knifed along the way.”

If you can keep your Pedant wealth when all about you
Are losing theirs from paying income tax;
If you can make quite sure that no one doubts you
By selling to the Technology networks your own “facts”;
If you can reap the harvest that is waiting
For those who fight both sides of one same Spam & Scam war;
If you spend hours televised or 'what did I have for dinner' debating
Religion or Society for praying and for “welfare for us, the poor”;

If you can trade with TTT's Reds, and all the while
Be charging what they owe to our own Brexit banks;
If you can have us lose a fishing war, then smile,
Because you know you’re only getting thanks;
If you can hold an AB political office, but each minute
Be out afloat, and calmly goin’ fishin’,
The UK. is yours, and all that’s in it,
Because, my son or daughter, you’ll be an AB politician.

Our milk bottle was on the table!
Catholics ate fish on Friday.
Trainers were pumps.
Nobody seemed to rob the outside chewy machines!
P!of was on the streets in pairs!
Plod
:-))
Trainers were Sandshoes.
Ever; trainers were pumps! Only poshies like the Famous Five has 'sandshoes'
DTC - actually, sex was what posh people had their coal delivered in.
true - all those plastic bags that were used....
"Pizza was something to do with a Leaning Tower."
Simply not true. There has been pizza places in Glasgow since just after the war.

"Indian restaurants were only encountered in India."
Again, utter rubbish.
Jim; it depends on how much of an oldie you are.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Plimsoll_shoe#/media/File:School_plimsolls.jpg

We called these sandshoes, maybe plimsolls, but absolutely never pumps.
Pumps in my corner of the world.
I always thought pumps was an Americanism. We had plimsolls, trainers. "Sneakers" is unacceptable though:-)
Indian Restaurants have a long history.

https://historyhouse.co.uk/articles/first_indian_restaurant.html


Fish Fingers arrived in 1955.

Gymshoes for me.
Pumps was a posh name for farts where I came from.
Definitely sand shoes here
Pumps in my neck of the woods.

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