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Hi Guys,
About a year and a half ago I came out of a two year depression which I think resulted from the loss of a job I really loved (company went bust).
Since then I've had no motivation, I literally cannot be bothered to get out of bed. I have all these good intentions but I dont seem to have the will power or self control to follow it through to the end.
Take now for example, I've nothing to feel down about, I've started a uni course and I'm really enjoying it, I've started a business which appears to be going well and I've got a BEAUTIFUL and wonderfull girlfriend.
However I rarely can be bothered to go to uni, I've got 11 assignments all due in in 5 weeks, none of which I've started yet and I'm so lazy around the house I'm in real trouble of losing my girlfriend.
I really dont know what to do, I've had some advice on this from people I know but most of them say, "well... get over it, if you get the urge to stay in bed ignore it and get out of bed"... now thats brilliant advice, but it doesnt really help, because if I found it that easy I wouldnt have this problem in the first place!
Has anyone else experienced this? Is there a way out of it? I dont know what to do, its like I'm actually letting my life disintegrate around me and although I'm screaming at myself inside, I STILL dont do anything about it... any ideas?
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For more on marking an answer as the "Best Answer", please visit our FAQ.Wow! I really felt like I was reading a chapter from my autobiography when I read your question! I have been depressed, and I'm still not over it, but the worst part about it was the complete lack of motivation. I just had no "get up and go" in me, there would be times when I would just stay in bed for days at a time, only getting out of bed to go the toilet. I would go for a week without getting a shower or even washing my face.
Eventually, I lost my friends. I think they got sick of me not answering the door when they knocked and not returning their messages that it was easier for them to stop coming over and to stop calling. So I just felt alone, and sad.
I felt just as you do, that life is just passing me by, and I was losing time that I will never get back. I knew life was passing me by, but I still didn't do anything about it.
I don't know if I can give you any advice how to get over it, because I'm still not over it. I still have bad days. I don't think I'll ever get over it, but I hope that I learn to accommodate it so that I can get on with life. I think you should go and see your doctor though, and DONT be embarrassed to tell him/her ALL of the things you are feeling! I was embarrassing about telling my doctor my symptoms, and she couldn't help me. It wasn't until I told her exactly what I was doing (staying in bed, no motivation etc) that she prescribed me anti-depressants. Good luck, I wish you the best :)
Well, you might not need medication, your GP could give you other advice that might help you. Mine referred me to the mental health unit at our hospital, which I was a bit freaked out by, but that was the procedure before I could be seen by their counselling staff. I was having sessions with a counsellor every week, which was good because it gave me a bit of a routine and it got me out of the house a couple of times a week. Oh, and try talking to your girlfriend about it, she will notice that there's something bothering you and she might think it's her...so make it clear to her that she's not the problem. Talking to her about it will probably help, a problem shared is a problem halved as they say.
This sounds like a cliche but you've already taken the first step in acknowledging how you feel and that you want something to change.....
I would definately think about seeing a counsellor/therapist because it then 'forces' you to look at areas of your life and to talk about anything you choose in a safe, non-judgmental environment. Professionals can help you see things in ways you would never have thought of yourself. Of course friends are important but they can often say the wrong things such as "If I was you...I would do this, that and the other" etc. seeing things from their point of view rather than getting into your shoes. There is a reason or reasons for why you feel the way you do, you just need help in finding out why and once you do know, I'm sure it will help you to feel better. Don't be afraid for asking for help - it's your life and you will do whatever you need to do, to feel better.
You say you are coming out of a long depression but I wonder whether in fact, you are still in it despite have changed direction after losing your job. Alternatively, your two years of doing nothing may unwittingly have become a habit without your realising it and part of your brain is still telling you it's OK to behave like this when it's clearly starting to ruin your life, especially when your girlfriend is doing the lion's share of the housework and you've been getting away with being inactive. .
I think it would be wise to go back to your doctor and explain just how bad this lethagy is. It also might help if every night before going to bed to list some realistic goals for the next day and don't allow yourself any luxuries until they have been achieved.
Hope you turn the corner soon.