How To Deal With An Anti-Social Housemate Keeping Nocturnal Hours

[DonaldDuck92]

I live in a shared house with two other housemates (in their 30s). One of them has this peculiar habit of staying on at work after her shift has ended (she works in care) which means for example, that she might finish at 10pm but she hangs around chatting (!) to colleagues until very late.

The challenge is that she's arriving home between 2am and 3am which means that she wants to shower, cook and stay up to watch TV. This means lights on, smell from food, sound of the shower, the washing machine running etc whilst two of us are trying to sleep for our 'office based' jobs that see us waking up at 7am ish Mon-Fri.

This is happening 5 days a week when she has to go to work. Which means that more often or not we are woken up during the night.

She knows she disturbs us as we have told her multiple times and she hears us get up when she's disturbed us.

I was explicit before moving in six months ago (she already lived in the flat) that I would need to sleep between 11pm and 7am and that I was looking for a quiet house. She told me the house had normally quietened down by 11:30pm-12pm.

This weekend things came to a head when she had been off on holiday for a week and on Saturday night she decided to start doing the housework at 11pm, then decided to die her hair and dry it at 1.37am knowing full well that two of us were asleep and that I had expressed to her before going to bed at 11:45pm that I'd prefer she didn't do it.

A side note here is that she lives a very unhealthy lifestyle and when not a work she sleeps all day, every day, even during the daytime. She seems to want to keep nocturnal hours.

On Saturday I told her it was inconsiderate in a shared house to behave this way. She told me that I shouldn't complain about being kept up late as it's the weekend. As though that is an acceptable justification and that we all must want to live our lives like her.

I know it's a shared house so some give and take expected. But am I being unreasonable???

[woofgang]

Was she there before you moved in? Did the other housemates mind before you moved in? I am honestly nor sure what you can do about it apart from leave.

[ladybirder]

Woof she says she was there when she moved in.

I'd move. She might, just might improve a little but that wouldn't be enough for me and I suspect not for you either.

[eve1974]

I think she is being unreasonable. However not much you can do except find another place to live.

[ToraToraTora]

fight fire with fire, when you get up at 7am make a racket, when she complains do a deal, you'll shut up if she does.

[eve1974]

Oh like it TTT

[Gizmonster]

I know it's not the solution, but Id be inclined to give her a taste of her own medicine.
You say she sleeps during the day, most of the day ..... that sounds like an ideal time to turn the TV up, put some nice loud music on, do the housework, put the washing machine on, bang around with the vacuum cleaner, have friends round for a chat .... you catch my drift??
If/when she complains, just tell her that you'll stop if/when she stops :)

[ladybirder]

None of that would wake my daughter up when she's asleep LOL.

[DonaldDuck92]

Thanks folks.

She was living there when I moved in but I did have a conversation with her about needing to be able to get sleep and she said nothing about her nocturnal activities.

I really don't want to have to move but she gets funny if she's woken up! I set my alarm for 6am on Monday and she was huffy about it! Talk about everything on her terms.

[ToraToraTora]

" really don't want to have to move but she gets funny if she's woken up! I" - sounds perfect wake her up every day till she see sense.

[Jackdaw33]

What does the other housemate feel about it?

[DonaldDuck92]

Equally as annoyed but fearful of saying anything

[ummmm]

Had can DD give her a taste of her own medicine if they are at work all day?

[ummmm]

*how

[ToraToraTora]

when they get up in the morning she is sleeping, use that time to wake her up too, geddit?

[david small]

She is a selfish, inconsiderate, childish bi*ch. tell her straight either she alters her behaviour or you will alter yours to the detriment of her lifestyle. Disturbing her sleep pattern, and several other things come to mind.

[ummmm]

You think people have the time to try and wake someone before they leave for work. This person is doing it when she's home, geddit?

[ToraToraTora]

takes no time to make a racket.

[david small]

Geddit? Get it. Yes I get it. She/they can bang around deliberately as they shower breakfast, dress, tidy up. Even make the time to disrupt selfish girls sleep. Understand?

[Ellipsis]

Record her at night. Leave it playing at full blast when you go to work during the day.

[ToraToraTora]

yes she makes a racket when she gets home and all night so when they get up she is sound asleep, perfect opportunity to fight fire with fire. Why are you so contrarian ummmm? What would you do, wear it? Just let her treat you like a door mat? I'd have a big empty saucepan and hit it with a wooden spoon right outside her door. The funny thing is you'd only have to do it few times then she'd realise and call a truce and everyone is happy. Geddit?