I Feel As If I Am Mourning

[pastafreak]

I've been away from the US for almost 33 years, and I'll admit my connection to it has dwindled over time. I'd guess that is natural. I view it more as a bystander, and one who is glad not to be part of the craziness.
But now, the reality of what was home has changed so much that it is foreign to me. Some of the past may be viewed through rose tinted glasses but much was good...and positive.
Events of the past few days...never mind the last few years...have me so deeply saddened. I worry for my family...I worry for my brothers grandchildren. So young...only 4,3 and barely 1. But, I worried in the same way when I was pregnant in 1985. What was in the future?
I'm not sure I'm able to fully describe how it makes me feel. I just had to let it out a bit.

[jennyjoan]

Pasta. I have friend in America who would just love to be home forever. She is living in America over 50 years

[Zacs-Master]

It certainly is a strange country, Pasta and I’m glad I don’t live there. Your feelings are understandable but the vast majority of Americans or immigrants who live there live happy and fulfilling lives.

[Vagus]

I think I can imagine a little of how you feel Pasta.
Not that we’re American, but we’ve just been talking about how America seems to have changed..for the worse..in the last number of years.
I’m so glad our eldest son didn’t go there to live and work a few years ago.
Chin up Pasta, you live in England, with all its faults, but a better place than America I believe xx

[anneasquith]

Pasta, America is your birthplace. You have memories probably mostly good .
Britain is very good at pointing out other countries problems. Britain has their own ..
I wonder if you could, would you visit ?

[jno]

apparently it's the 16th happiest country in the world (just ahead of the UK, just behind Canada) and getting better, but it may look different in a year's time.

https://countryeconomy.com/demography/world-happiness-index

[Patsy33]

I can understand how you feel, Pasta. Years ago, most of us looked up to America, but not so much now. It is worrying, especially with the latest news on women's rights..The country is moving backwards. Scary..

[pastafreak]

Zac...I'm the granddaughter of immigrants, my SIL is an immigrant, as is my niece (by way of adoption). Lol...and here I am...an immigrant.
Anne, I was last back in 2017. Before the world turned upside down. Maybe in a year or so...we'll see.

[jennyjoan]

Pasta - do think America is my God not as far as away as Australia in which another friend is trapped ie married, children, grandchildren and was never ever meant to end her day there - went with child and got expectant within months and felt embarrassed about coming back to Belfast with two children. Went on to have 5 altogether. Hubby died so hates it and my God such a far away country.

I promised I would go some day - ah now somewhere over the rainbow - As Paisley would say NEVER NEVER NEVER. So Pasta America is only a few hours away.

If my friend lived in America - I would be over to see her at least twice a year (that's if she wanted me tho).

[pastafreak]

Jno, if we are that happy, I hate to think what it's like further down the ranking.

[pastafreak]

I'm sure she'd want you jj. I can't imagine not seeing my family even though traveling is hard. Has she never come back?

[jennyjoan]

She was poor in the beginning and didn't get back to Belfast until 15 years later and then it was her brother in law paid her ticket. She has been back about 4 times now in about 38 years. But she is quite unwell now but hopefully next year her daughter and her hubby may come next year and friend will have someone to fly with (hopefully) - I love her with all my heart. Sincerest friend from the heart!

[choux]

pasta, may I ask - does this give you a feeling of displacement (for want of a better word)? I cannot really empathise as I have never really been out of the UK - Ireland isn't abroad it is just somewhere I go to visit very dear friends. I am sorry you have these feelings.

[anneasquith]

Would be nice pasta if you got home for a visit.

[William51]

I understand how you feel, but you can remember the good times and think that the US will have better times in the future.

[pastafreak]

choux@15:06...oh yes. Not just now either. The more settled I've become here, the further I am from my roots. The UK is far more familiar to me,yet there is much I do not have in common with people my own age here. Like the memory lane threads on here...being a child in the 50s was a world away. So posting is a bit pointless.
As for now...I see my country from the same point as those born here. It's become an incomprehensible society...full of too many crazy people. There was a time when that same wackiness was part of America's individualism. But that is no more.
There is much regret in seeing such changes.

[jno]

I don't post on memory lane threads either, pasta, for the same reason: my childhood sitting under our palm tree on an island is of no relevance. But don't feel disconsolate about not having the same memories as everyone else: by all accounts the 50s in Britain were austerity and rationing. You were probably a lot better off. And just now you may be better off here than there.

[choux]

I can follow your thinking, pasta. Guess we are just lucky to have you on AB :)

[jennyjoan]

Could you not go home for about 2-3 weeks to get it out of your system

[pastafreak]

Jno...I'd no idea you weren't born here. Yes, I know my fairly ordinary American upbringing was much different...so I feel almost guilty if I post about it.
Awww...thanks choux.

[pastafreak]

Possibly next year jj...fingers crossed.