Identifying A Body

[breadstick]

Hi

I have to identify the remains of a relative who died alone by attending the mortuary on Monday

Has anyone ever had to do this can they give me some idea of what to expect

[phleb]

There will someone there with you at all times and guide you. It’s a difficult time and I’m sorry that you have to go through this, but please don’t worry, there will be support and guidance. So sorry for your loss. Xx

[choux]

phleb has given good advice, but I would just add that can anyone accompany you and make sure you are ok, especially for when you leave the mortuary? I am sorry you find yourself in this position.

[Musictv2019]

I'm so sorry for your loss please take care of yourself

[Smowball]

That is an awful situation to be in and I feel for you but you have been given good advice. When did you last see this relative? I only ask to whether this ‘identifying’ will be possible, or whether it will just distress you x

[sddsddean]

My wife and I had to identify her father after a car accident. Not easy, but somehow I felt better that I had seen him and knew it was him, so no doubt over mistaken identity in my mind...if you see what I mean.
Condolences.

[Ringlet]

Identifying a body will be a stressful process for you, but you can be assured that the mortuary staff and/or undertakers will be sensitive and respectful to you and will allow you all the time you need.
I had to identify a relative after a bomb blast (NI in the seventies).
I was extremely worried about what I might see, but there was nothing at all to be worried about.
Any injuries or areas of discolouration had been dealt with by the cosmetic process, or were covered by mortuary garments.
When I presented myself at the mortuary, I was taken to an inner room where a member of staff sat down with me, and explained what to expect and what I would be asked to do.
The member of staff who attended the viewing of the body at the mortuary was kind and respectful, I was encouraged to rest for a few minutes before the actual viewing, and there was no sense of urgency or hurry to get it over with.
After the identification was over I was shown back to the room I had previously been in, and told I could rest for as long as I needed.
My advice is - don't expect too much of yourself, or try to be too stoical. If you need to rest, or need a drink of water, let them know. They are used to helping relatives and will be sympathetic.

[Peter Pedant]

Go at the appointed time
actually phleb has said it all
sorry for your loss

[jennyjoan]

I was asked to identify my nephew after an accident in Thailand - I couldn't do it (am not putting you off breadstick) but the Thai people had sent him home in a pretty run down coffin - just a blue box with bits and pieces broken off the box.

Funeral undertakers asked me did I want him transferred to a better coffin (fancy box) I said no - if it was kind and good enough of the Thai people to take care of him and send him home then it was good enough for me. I left him in the box.