For Anyone Feeling Down, Old And ‘Past It’ Read This

[Raidergal2022]

It’s just a reminder that people can achieve things at any age and that we can continue to progress no matter what age

https://soulsalt.com/when-is-the-prime-of-your-life/

I have just been struggling and feeling very down about life in general. I am almost 40 and even though in reality I don’t have much to complain about I was sorting out the attic with my mum and I think she enjoyed it but seeing all my old toys basically ruined my evening.

As soon as I was finished I spent the evening hidden away contemplating on how much I miss childhood that I will never get it back etc. It almost felt like true life was over for me.

I then started worrying about my parents ageing they are in their early 70’s I am developing anticipatory grief. I then started to worry that I am single with no kids and as I have no siblings I’l be alone in old age.

The article helped a little

[andy-hughes]

I'm sorry that you feel like this.

I think you have to try and live life in the moment, not looking too far back, or too far forward.

I am sixty-eight, so I know I'm on 'the back nine' - I've had more time than I'm going to get.

But I rejoice in my life experience, the places I have seen, the times I have lived through, and thoughts of them make me happy nearly every day.

I don't fear death at all, I am only sad for my loved ones who will miss me - I know there is no 'afterlife', so I will be spared their pain.

But I can't dwell on the inevitable, only enjoy my time, and do my best to do and see what I want, while I can.

To quote Marc Bolan - 'Life's a gas, I hope it's gonna last...'

xx

[Raidergal2022]

Thanks Andy, that sounds like the ideal way of looking at life. I’m sure you have plenty to look forward to as well.

I guess one of our differences is your ability to rejoice on past times, I don’t know how to do this. I just see the past (including good times, achievements) as events that have passed and I will never get back. I haven’t travelled much maybe this would help or maybe not.

[david small]

Fear not young one. Life's an adventure and your the safari king. One day at a time to live, there’s always opportunities to be taken or ignored. You can dwell upon sadness, or focus on the good things you can achieve.
Boy, are you in for a surprise andy. A nice one, I may add.

[nicebloke1]

Cheer up mate 40 is very young, dont waste the next 40 worrying or you will have regrets.
( Being alone has a power that very few people can handle) Youve got bags of time not to, have to handle it. I've 73 this year and still look forward to another day coming round.

[pixie374]

You've barely started :-). You are the youngest now that you will ever be, so make some plans and decide what you want. It doesn't matter what other people see as "achievements", you just need to choose for you.

[lankeela]

I retired at the beginning of this month and after a couple of days doing nothing much I have now taken on another aspect to my hobby which involves dog shows - another committee role which will entail organising yet more shows for other people. I now know what people mean when they say you will wonder how you had time to go to work! Your destiny is in your hands, make the most of it and find something useful to do instead of worrying how bad things might be.

[Peter Pedant]

I think she enjoyed it but seeing all my old toys basically ruined my evening.

oh mmy mother threw them out when I wasnt looking

a neighbour - his muvva threw out a much loved spittle covered elephant in FRONT of him. 70y trauma

knackered - I am not sure if I will make if from the bus to the Karnak Temple when I vizeet next week
( last I think vizeet to Egypt as too baggered- you know where Naomi denies I ever was)

[Peter Pedant]

o quote Marc Bolan - 'Life's a gas, I hope it's gonna last...

yikes - foo even
Marc was tragically dead from deriving his car at .... 26

[naomi24]

PP, I haven't denied you visited Egypt. Stop telling lies.

[emily1890]

thanks for posting this

I apreciate it

[theshedman]

Thought Bolan was 29 when he died. His girlfriend was driving. He always said he didn't think he would see 30 and it seems he was right.

[rowanwitch]

As a woman with no kids, likely to outlive my remaining family I have things in place will, advance directive, funeral plan, life insurance, and I moved to sheltered housing in my 50s, in anticipation of deteriorating health as I grew older.

Now my life is all about doing stuff, seeing friends, learning new skills, sharing my existing ones, and joining a few groups with those who have an interest in common. Yes I miss my late husband, but I was always going to outlive him by many years and was prepared for this stage of my life. When I get my state pension anything left after the taxman grabs a chunk will be used to travel while I am still mobile enough to do it. My best friend and I are compiling a list of places we want to see.
Leave people laughing at your wake, and leave those who don't make you happy behind. Wear your best clothes to the shops, and a tiara to do the housework....

[andy-hughes]

Raidergal - Sound advice as always, from the AB'ers who almost all care about posters in distress, and reach out with help and support.

You need to not look back with a sense of despair and a feeling of opportunities missed.

Opportunities occupy only the future, there is nothing to gain looking back and wishing what might have been - it wasn't, but that doesn't mean that the time as wasted.

Every day, up to and including this one, has given you the experiences that have made you the person you are, and you need to appreciate that person, and not be hard on her for what may have happened in her past.

You must embrace her future, using all that experience and personal understanding to look at what she wants to do moving forward, and start planning for that.

The past you cannot control, or alter, the future, you can, so look forward, and decide what is going to make you happy,and go for that.

Good luck.