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Is It Morbid To Plan Your Own Send Off?

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nailedit | 17:36 Thu 27th Jul 2023 | ChatterBank
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My mother did, 2 years ago, but she knew that she was dying.
She was 88
I'm 57 but know that I could expire at anytime.
(Especially given my present lifestyle)
Not like when you're a teenager and life goes on forever.
Thoughts?


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We probably all think about it at some stage, I have already started to set out some wishes.... even down to suggesting music... but its not something i think about alot. just now and again
I am older than you so these things need to be sorted.
I have arranged for a Pure cremation. My other wishes my boys know what to do.
My friend doesn't want her daughter to be burdened with all the planning so she has a pure cremation lined up. I am a bit sad as my father didn't want a funeral and it was difficult not being able to say goodbye.
If you make your own plans, there's a good chance you will get what you want and how you want it.
A direct copy-&-paste from my will:
"I desire that my body be cremated without ceremony and that my ashes be disposed of, also without ceremony, in any convenient refuse receptacle"

For those who'd prefer a 'proper send off' though, I see nothing morbid about making plans for it.
I started future proofing when I wrote my first will and took out life insurance at 18, I have a folder with instructions for insurance policy, funeral, (simple cremation) and mine and Dave's ashes to be scattered at sea details of up to date boat charter company etc. A list of online sites to post a goodbye message with phone numbers of at least one active member to give a confirmation message so we don't have any misunderstandings.
I will probably outlive my remaining family so for me arrangements are important.
We have planned our funerals and ringfenced the money - we don't trust any company not to go bust. They are covered by the FCA now but it's a faff it they go bust at the wrong time
I think our families feel uncomfortable when we talk of our own death ( understandable). But I don’t think it’s morbid . Just being practical .
After my mother died, as Executor of her Will it truly brought home to me the possible complexities involved.

As her life was far simpler than mine, I decided to make a Will, and I also compiled a file of further assistance in dealing with my aftermath for my surviving family (e.g. bank account details, policies held, etc.). My funeral is already paid for with the Co-op (notwithstanding Barry's comment). Maybe it is morbid, but then that's death anyway.
A friend in France was a bereavement counsellor. Her advice was to plan as much as you could, because it helped those you left very much and saved a lot of stress. N.B. She became a CRUISE counsellor after the sudden death of her 19 yr. old daughter in a riding accident - so she knew what she was talking about.

Having said that - I've been trying to get Mr. J2 to pick the music he wants for over 6 yrs now! We have sorted out burials though.
It can be seen as 'morbid' but increasingly, society is accepting the need and practicality of planning for the inevitable.
^^^^ grrr CRUSE (I think!)
Yes I've got mine all sorted and paid for. I told my children what I was doing and they were OK with it.
Not at all. After my mother died I was the executor. I was the younger of her kids. My sister lived in Canada. I found an envelope in her belongings outlining her requirements on her demise. I found it most helpful and considerate from a dear lady who always considered other people before herself. I shed a tear when she requested that my sister and I should be kind to each other. We had our disputes! I-read that request at her funeral. My only regret was that I couldn't get a choir at the Crem to sing the *** ritual ‘Going Home’. She loved listening to the song when my Dad ,who went before her, sang it as a member of the Porthcawl Male voice Choir. An audio tape sufficed.
I will follow her example knowing it will be of assistance to my surviving family.
For christ sake. Black slave song instead of N***o
Pure cremation for us both.
See you there Tilly.
Oi! LB. Get your own oven!
Do you have to be so graphic!!! Anyway you won't know if I'm in your oven or not. Oh dear, I'm starting to wish I hadn't started this:-(
So am I!

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