Lonely

[jennyjoan]

I am the most worst sleeper and think it is something with sorta nothing/nobody/person in the house to communicate with.

I got my Maxie back tonight at 7.00pm from a lady - young girl but she simply adores him - I would say generally adores dogs although by job she is an intensive nurse but doesn't like that job.

She is telling me when she off the job - she can lie down in the afternoon for one hour for a nap - I just can't believe this and of course she said after walking him in the morning him and her lies for a nap and then they go walking in the afternoon.  God love him - he is getting more walks than ever 

This is only the second time she has had him and of course I brought her in to the living room and my wee Maxie got beside her and put his head on her lap so I know she is being kind to him.

I missed him dreadfully when he was gone - the emptiness, the "nobody" there, nobody to water and nobody to feed - it's all there.  I wasn't reared like that - in my young day - there could have been 11 or 12 of us in a two up and two down and whilst we complained at the time - they were probably the best days of our lives.

 

Living alone is not that great.  

 

[Zacs-Master]

You've always got us on Answerbank, JJ. 

[jennyjoan]

oh you mr Zacs who was giving off to me for not saying thank you to people who helped me - oh yeah

As friends and family all got older - it just becomes harder - and I am quite a pain from breaking the toes some Fridays ago.

 

However - one of my neighbours was in on Saturday night - he is my bestie = so he is telling me that as the car was rolling over my foot he and another guy - lifted the car off but whoever turned off the engine apparently the car would have sped on and split me in half.  Sad to hear that big time.

 

It means I owe so many people for my life that night - don't get me wrong I have given many thank yous to those people but it doesn't cut it.  

 

I'm still alive physically but mentally don't know where I am

[calmck]

It can take some time to get over a shock like you have had. Ask your doctor to refer you to someone to talk to and maybe a mild sedative at night. Maxie is with you now talk to him and tell him what happened. He will be a good listener and not give you grief. Come on here to chat there will probably be someone here most of the time. 

[pastafreak]

You have my sympathy jj. 

When I lost both my old deaf cat, followed by my dear Sally within a month of each other, it was unbearable. The silence, the lack of company, the need to care for a warm furry. My cat Toby is not a cuddle monster, but I know he misses me when I've been away. 

As for human company, though it's quite tiring sometimes spending days or even weeks with my daughter and her partner, I have such mixed feelings when I'm back on my own. They visited last week...afterwards, I was completely knackered but also felt flat and empty with no one here. It's difficult sometimes.

I'm glad that you are still here...you make me smile.

[Cloverjo]

Jennyjoan, I know how awful loneliness is. Keep chatting here. There's always someone around. 
 

I wish we'd had the internet, mobile phones etc. while I was in that situation.
You are a gregarious, chatty friendly lady and you have friends

[choux]

jj, you are probably feeling quite reflective after the accident and mobility is a problem too now. Poor hearing can add to loneliness too. Thank goodness for wee Maxie, give him a cuddle from me, please. I think once you are feeling better from your accident things will improve for you. In the meantime the written word here will get you some pleasure I'm sure. 

Accept any kindness that comes your way, even from Zacs who I reckon meant it up there. We are all capable of typing whatever we feel at any given moment. Bend with the wind a little and life becomes just a wee bit better for you :)
Hope you get some sleep, just going to try for some shut eye myself. Sweet dreams.

[jennyjoan]

thanks for all your lovely answers  do appreciate them

the accident was extreme but at the time I treated it as if it was nothing always did with many accidents over the years.  neighbours were waiting around out on street - as it happened outside my door -they were waiting for ambulance.  I was yelling at them to get me lifted up - "there's nothing wrong with me" but a young nurse who lives beside me told them not to touch me.

 

Ach give me a fat break - get this big fat lady up on her feet and into the house - I'll be alright - I actually sat up on the street ground but couldn't get up further (too fat LOL)

apparently my behaviour and carry on according to another neighbour had them in fits of laughter - that after I left in a big old ambulance - the neighbours had a great laugh about my antics for a few hours.

I am genuinely a person of quietness.  If I can get away with it I don't want anybody to know of any of my business.  But believe me the more I want to no no no trouble - Trouble finds a way.   A good saying "never trouble trouble till trouble troubles you.  Well bajesus - troubles follows me whe'er I go.

 

Yes I am going to hospital tomorrow for broken toes but then I am leaving to go to doctors to see if I can be counselled and calmed with a sedative or whatever.  

 

I am only with these doctors about 4 weeks - aren't they sorry doctors - getting me!

[Peter Pedant]

great pleasure - and I dont  get many

afternoon nap and  dog-dog lies beside you with snout toward the door, and says, "I must guard you as you sleep"

[Zacs-Master]

Morning, JJ. I hope the new day has brought a new mood and you're feeling a bit lighter in spirits. 

[scorpiojo]

Would you consider taking antidepressants, Conne?

[jennyjoan]

no - was on them many years ago and they done nothing for me - no not for me.  Why pour more chemicals into your system.

[jennyjoan]

thanks Zacs for your greetings.  

[Zacs-Master]

Pleasure, JJ. What are you up to today?

[jennyjoan]

getting wounds dressed in the local hospital centre  - hospital are concerned with wounds as they are healing too slowly for them.  

then I have to pick up some things for my sister and nice makeup for me and some other few things - that'll be it

sad sad sad person that I am LOL   (I am trying to be funny here).  Mr Maxie is lying on the floor - think he is exhausted with all the walking that lovely girl gave him.  

[Bobbisox1]

I'll start again ( gremlins in the works) JJ  I always look forward to your posts as they're very genuine, I hope your doctor can help you with a mild sedative for sleeping , your Irish wit comes through all of the time ,don't ever change , that loneliness can raise its ugly head in many ways, even in a  bad marriage, don't let it win JJ, you're a lovely lady, a character on here and I mean that in the nicest possible way ❤️

[Zacs-Master]

Poor old Maxie. Keep us up to speed with how it went at the hospital. 

[rowanwitch]

It's a question of perspective, I grew up in a multigenerational home, sharing a bedroom etc, then over three long term relationships I realised much as I loved the people concerned I am someone with a huge need for personal space and privacy.  For me it revolves around the need to be able to do my things, sewing, painting,etc without having to take someone else's schedule, and in the case of Redman meal times into account.

I sometimes have people to stay but find it incredibly difficult, especially if they bring a lot of 'stuff' into my space least to talk all the time, or watch stuff on tv I have no interest in.   I guess it's mostly due to being on the autism spectrum, but also an awareness that my time to do the things I love is limited and I don't want to lose a minute.

[barry1010]

Not at all surprised you are feeling down just now, JJ, you've been through a lot lately, your body will be tired and you are adjusting.

Hopefully things will seem brighter soon

[naomi24]

All the very best to you, JJ. x

[hellywelly4]

Sending caring thoughts to you jj. I find the tv helps me a lot. I can lose myself in the stories and pass the time that way. I have a Humax box and record everything I want to watch and also fast forward through the adverts. I do hope you get counselling-it has been a real help to me. Sending a hug. xx