19Year Old

[hannah40]

My Daughter is home from her travels and been living in my mums flat on her own as my 92 yr old mum has moved in with me .

so she has a rent free flat and has been earning money  before she came home. and jetting off to America after Christmas for more work.

she expects me to drop everything I'm doing when she phones me to fetch her or buy her food take her out for meals go to a spa ect.

ive asked her to sort her nans flat out which I paid her to do I've asked her to help her dad with his accounts which I've paid her for. 
Am I really expected to spend time constantly with her just because she is home for 8 weeks or can I get on with my own life.

i have been to a spa and theatre with her plus meals out and cinema. To be honest I'm fed up with her messaging me what are we doing today when I have a full day working.

she says I'm only here for a short time you need to make the most of me.

am I in the wrong here? As I'm starting to think she is the selfish one but perhaps it's me.

[Tilly2]

You are her mum and she wants to spend as much time with you as she can. Just go with the flow but if you are not available, tell her so.

[THECORBYLOON]

If she is asking you to make the most of her, the same applies in reverse so she should be treating you too.

[Ringlet]

She clearly thinks everything is all about her.  You need to (as gently as possible) show her that she needs to consider the needs of others.  

[Countrylover]

I wouldn't put up with that sort of behaviour.  My son hasn't expected anything from us.  We have treated him obviously but he never had expectations or asked us for anything since leaving for uni.  

[bednobs]

perhaps there is a middle way.  work out at the weekend how much/what days you can manage to/want to see her in the next week and let her know your availability.

if you dont have the money to do something, let her know

[Vagus]

It doesn't really matter what anyone else thinks, you feel the way you do so probably need to do/say something to sort it out.

I think I'd feel rather flattered that my daughter wanted to spend time with me under the circumstances but if it's a nuisance to you, then it's a nuisance. And if you can't afford to pay for the things you're doing together then tell her.