Dear Vagus

[choux]

You have been kind enough to ask me a few times how things are going for me. My dearly beloved died in hospital earlier this month. Watching someone slowing dying and waiting for their release from suffering is something altogether different. 

I was recognised every day during long visiting hours until the  final day and I could see death was imminent. It was a blessed release in the end.

Slowly getting through everything, having waited 5 days to get a doctor in a large hospital team looking after OH to sign the death certificate did not help my progress. My GP is on holiday, as is the solicitor - though not together I presume.

I will get it all done one day, I have no doubt. Just about my bedtime now - energy levels are low and I have lost a lot weight in the last 3 to 4 years. So thanks for asking Vagus x

[Vagus]

Ah choux, what can I possibly say....

Youve kept your sense of humour despite what you've obviously been going through, what a dreadful time you've had. 
I hope you have some sort of support system, or at the very least someone who can help with all the necessary form filling, etc., and emotional support you may need right now. I wish it could be me.

Its the price we pay for loving someone, the sadness when we lose them, but we wouldn't have it any other way.

I don't know anything about throwaway email stuff, but if you do, and would like to make contact, I'd  very happy to do so. If not, that's fine too, and I send you much love regardless. Take care my lovely xx

[rowanwitch]

Hi Choux, don't worry about everything that needs to be done, You will get there, one step leads to the next, the system sort of takes over.  Every time you tick one box, the next stage becomes clearer.  Take any help that is offered, or do what I did and just plow on.  ( No one offered and then one day I turned around and every box was ticked, everyone was notified and I felt I could draw breath again)

[rockyracoon]

I'm so sorry for your loss, Choux. Peace be with you.

[pastafreak]

Please accept my condolences choux x

[-SharonA-]

So sorry for your loss. XXX

[Toorak]

I am so sorry to hear your news - the loss of a dearly loved partner must be so difficult. Thinking of you and wishing you strength and best wishes. xx

[Hazlinny]

Thinking of you;  may happy memories see you through the days ahead. xx

[Prudie]

I'm also really sorry to hear of your loss and what you've been through recently, must have been hard to bear. I hope your pain eases over time.

[Old_Geezer]

My sympathy. It does get better, more tolerable, as time goes by. Hang in there.

[sandyRoe]

I'm so sorry for your loss. 

[Arksided]

Sorry to read of your loss Choux.

[wolf63]

Love and healing wishes from me💜

[Rosetta]

I am so sorry to hear of your loss choux, I am sure its very raw at the moment.  I hope you have support around you to share memories xx

[albaqwerty]

Am just so very sorry

xx

[seekeerz]

Oh choux, I'm so very sorry to read of your loss and I can sympathise with your feelings at the moment.

I was lucky to have the support of my daughters through the first chaotic days, made the more so by the official arrival of Covid - we weren't sure if the borders were going to be closed - not something you think about normally.

Now some four and a half years down the track, I've pretty much tied up all the loose ends - all one can do is take one day at a time, prioritise the most important and cope with those first - I was pleasantly surprised how many government bodies became more human when they realised I'd just been widowed.

Take care and look after yourself, you're in my prayers xx

[MargoTester]

I'm really sorry for your loss Choux and hope some help becomes available. My sincere condolences xx

[jourdain2]

Oh choux, I'm so sorry for what you have been, and are going, through.  I hope you get some help from  somewhere. xx

[choux]

My sincere heartfelt thanks to everyone who has posted, it is quite humbling. I didn't put up this post to gather sympathy but I could not carry on posting here ignoring what has happened to me and it didn't seem fair to derail another's post.

I am my own support system through all of this and, thankfully, have a strength of character to allow me to drive myself home from the hospital without any untoward incident.

Having always believed that life is the most precious thing my attitude was always tempered by the inevitability of such desperate ill health.

My heart goes out to everyone who has been in the same situation and anyone who has health problems/issues. 

Bless you all xx

[Vagus]

I think we all know you didn't post looking for sympathy, that's not who you are, you're a very strong lady and very much admired.

keep on keeping on choux, and know you're in many people's thoughts x

[choux]

Vagus, I did think of you some days back - I was running out of food and without transport to get to the nearest shops.

I had been running J's car quite happily as I was a named driver on the insurance policy. One sleepless night it occured to me that the insurance was no longer valid and I was on to the Insurers first thing in the morning to resolve the problem. It took days for them to sort it and I made many calls to them on a daily basis. Finally the problem was resolved 2 days ago with a new policy emailed to me. I was blowed if I would pay to go shopping by taxi - there is no bus service through my village to the nearest town.

Now, what would Vagus do, I asked myself? With a quick rifle through the cupboards I made a kedgeree and quite enjoyed it. Now I have been shopping there is fresh food in the fridge but I have little appetitie.

My local community is quite elderly and I have seen how they drive...

My dear friend just 2 doors away phoned me yesterday and wanted to come round - she is 94yrs young and is on 2 walking sticks so I said I would go to her. She had bought me some beautiful roses, white and yellow, and they meant so much to me.

Any kindness and thoughtfulness is so welcome at this time, so please have BA on me xx