I Think My Friend Is At The End Of Life Stage 4 Admission To Hospital Tonight

[gordiescotland1]

Something happens in life that helps put everything in perspective. A friend of mine for over 15 years has been unwell for the last 2 years with pancreatic cancer he has fought it well had chemo, been given medication PERT to allow him to eat, had a stent put in he also had a heart valve that needed replaced however as soon as he got cancer it was cancelled. It spread to his liver and now it is very advanced in his lungs. 2 months ago all chemotherapy was stopped. Today he has had urinary retention for 36 hours, don't know if that's a problem, jaundice I know that's quite bad and low sodium and low potassium I don't know what that means. He is also very confused. His wife phoned me very upset telling me all of this. He had wanted to die at home but I said to her gently that I don't think he will get home. She thinks this is a UTI and he will be home in a few days, denial maybe to me this sounds like the beginning of the end ???

[Canary42]

How terrible gordie, certainly an awful ordeal for him and his wife.  It does sound imminently terminal, but inevitable that his wife still clings on to hope. My sympathies to all.  As you say, it does put other things into a different perspective.

[barry1010]

It is natural to cling on to hope, it keeps us going.

UTIs can cause confusion but he is obviously a very poorly man.

A sad time for his friends and loved ones

[Old_Geezer]

Sorry to read about your friend. One can only hope it is soon enough not to leave him in this situation for long. Stopping treatment seems a clear indication that the end is near; may all who know him find the strength to cope well with it.

[Barsel]

So sorry to hear about your friend Gordie. Since a friend of mine got cancer, I've learnt a bit about it, and although there is no cure for her cancer, it is treatable. Of course, your friend has a different type of cancer, but if it is treatable, he is in the best place to get that treatment. Hopefully, he will keep fighting it. I wish him the best of luck.

[andres]

Obviously the doctor won't know exactly when the end will be but one of my very close relalatives in a similar situation desperately wanted to die at home. The doctor spoke to us and said someone would arrange end -of-life care at home.    Everthing was arranged. Ambulance ,  special bed at home and care from a local agency twice a day. The family were able to sit with him and although most of the time he was asleep he knew he was at home, He died after two weeks but  got his wish to die at home. Since then I have known other people receiving the same end-of-life care. Even if he only got a few days he would be getting his dying wish. My thoughts go out to you Geordie  and his wife and family. x

[naomi24]

Your friend sounds very poorly, geordie.  An awful time for you and his family.  I'm so sorry for you.  

[gordiescotland1]

Latest update is he is now waiting for a hospice bed at the hospice attached to the hospital unfortunately it is full at the moment. He is being kept comfortable. My friend who died 6 years ago of the same condition was unable to get a bed at the hospice when he was admitted with severe dehydration but the palliative care team came to his bed and gave him a morphine pump. 

[Lie-in King]

Gordie, I'm very sorry to read that your friend's so ill & my thoughts & best wishes are with you, him & his wife.