Should I continue our friendship?

[buzzfresh101]

A girl at work started inviting herself to my local pub when she knew I'd be there. I asked her to sit with us and she's been coming out every week since. She has told me how much she fancies my husband and is always making improper suggestions. She has now started rumours around the work place that my husband has returned these suggestions to her and has been making suggestive comments. I know this is not true. Should I cut all ties with her?

[ineedahobby]

Frankly yes... sounds like a poisonous little madam to me!

[buzzfresh101]

She's already had another girl's husband but I can't see how, she's an ugly girl with no sense of humour. I've ignored her for two weeks but I know she'll start to ask questions soon. Any advice?

[Englishbird]

I agree, you don't need people like that in your life at all !!! Walk away and don't give it a second thought. If she confronts you about it, very calmly repeat what you've told us and tell her that you're not interested in associating yourself with her.

[Englishbird]

She doesn't need to be anything special for some men to 'have a go' just a sl*t. Keep well away from her, and as long as you have faith in your husband it'll be fine.

Of course if I was being vindictive.... you could have a very quiet word in a few ears and ensure that she does not feel comfortable at work and you never know your luck, she might leave completely. Only you know how far you want to take it.

[rampart]

Certainly cut all ties with her, and abruptly. Do not associate with a dangerous person like that!

What does your husband think of this? Is he aware that she fancies him?

Do all three of you work in the same place, or just you and this woman? I might think about talking to the supervisor if I were you....

[buzzfresh101]

He is well aware and thinks it's disgusting. He's never liked her (not that she was my best mate or anything) and thinks I should send a text telling her to go away. I think I should just ignore her or come up with excuses.

[rampart]

Do not send a text of any kind. And anything you say to her, say in front of others. This woman is quite a potential problem. Avoid her like the plague and consider talking to your supervisor.

[WoWo]

Personally I'd just avoid her.

[Englishbird]

I totally agree with Rampart, do not engage in any conversation or texting with her. From what you've told us, she sounds unhinged (a word I seem to be using a lot today) and as such is dangerous. again as Rampart says, make sure you have a witness if there is any conversation.

Don't however feel bullied or intimidated by her. You do not need to make excuses, you can be straight with her if she approaches you. Just remain calm and rational and she'll show herself up for the idiot that she is.

If you tell a supervisor about this now, if she takes it further you have some back up if she ever trys to make things difficult for you.

[curly sue]

go to personnel and make a statement to the fact that she is causing problems - make sure that your husband is right behind you. Then just tell the girl to go forth and multiply! good luck...

[Drusilla]

I agree with curly sue. Make an official complaint at work to register this matter, officially. She does sound slightl;y unhinged and I think the quicker you make your bosses aware of the potential conflict here, the better.

On a personal level, ask your friends to tell her she is no longer welcome in your group and avoid talking to her whenever possible.

[BlueSkies]

YES! YES! YES! Break the friendship! She is no good for you!

[Otrere]

I'd break the friendship and tell her why as well. Tell her that you husband has absolutely no interest in her whatsoever and its about time she grew up and got herself a life, and gets herself a single man instead of trying to destroy other people's marriages. Grrrrrrr.

[Otrere]

Sorry for that outburst, I'm pregnant and feeling rather hormonal today! Agree with the people that said make an official complaint at work. Technically it is harrassment in a "bullying sense" - she is intimidating you and your husband by spreading these vicious rumours. And ignore the silly girl. But if she does ask you what the problem is, tell her straight, and make sure other people hear you as well.

[curly sue]

What has happened then? any news?? have you seen her off... :-)

[Princess Sue]

Can anyone tell me how to post a question?

[AlMac11]

Obviously you should. Also, that bitch needs taking down a peg or two. Give her five accross the eyes and say its from Big Al

[Dark Angel]

Cut her off. You can't stop her coming to the pub but maybe you can stop going there.

Or you can make an official complaint against her at work as two other people suggested, and she'll probably be put on disciplinary as a result. This will clear your husband's name.

[buzzfresh101]

Haven't seen her all week thank fully. She'll be texting me tomorrow asking if we're going out or not. I don't think I'll complain at work as I've just got a transfer, so I won't be seeing her at work any more. IAny ideas how I should reply to her text?

[Harry Nuttal]

Tell her you are all off to the Dog and Duck or somewhere else across town and then head for the Red Lion. Better still tell her in front of everyone to stop making stupid, suggestive, remarks to your husbad or you'll give her a good kicking. Frankly I'm amazed you are even asking for advice on this one. Perhaps it's a wind-up.