how do you stop yourself from going insane during a break up

[tanyalee]

My fiancee has recently told me to take a hike (In the nicest possible way too) - and I am not convinced it is completely over. However, I need to get on with my life as much as possible, but I can't because one minute I am fine and next I am crying along to James Blunt or something similar! My emotions are going through the roof and I am fighting so hard not to call him, but I realise I need to give him space! Any suggestions to help my sanity? P.s I am More agitated than depressed.

[neathgirl]

tanyalee - my advice to u is this... take ur time and listen to all the weepy songs that u want to - cos believe it or not it does help u - u know to readjust and get over the initial heart ache - unfortunately in the long term it is that old saying ...... time is the greatest healer - and i know u prob dont wanna hear that but its true - when u get over this - just think there is NOTHING that u cannot overcome ..... trust me i have been there - i hope u can keep urself busy enough - and whatever the reason is u have split up - just think - is it really worth all this - cos there are plenty more fish in the sea and if ur fiancee wasnt appreciative of u - then u deserve better - hope all works out well for u xx

[neathgirl]

oh and in my opnion dont call him do all what u can not to call him - if ur tempted to phone him - phone someone else no matter who it is just dont call him - know its kinda hatrsh but trust me the space and time are well needed by both of u not just the party who called it off xx

[gill3891]

I totally agree with neathgirl! I know that breaking up with someone you love his heartbreaking, I cried for like 2 weeks and then some when I broke up with my boyfriend....... but low and behold, i was strong and I didn't call him, gave him all the space he needed, even pretended I wasn't interested when he finally called me.....and we're back together and going strong! It sounds easy the way I have described it but believe me, it was tourture! Just be strong, keep your friends around you, go running, read a book, cry to titanic or some other soppy movie, do anything but don't call him!!!! Just give him space and if it's not meant to be then I promise (and I know I don't know you personally, but it's true for everyone) there is someone out there that will appreciate you for who you are and would never be without you!!! Be strong girly!!! you can do it!

[tanyalee]

gill3891 - How long did it take for him to contact you? I know everyone is different. i have sent a nice letter, for closure last week - you know the usual stuff i guess, don't forget the good times, etc... But I didn't beg, plead etc. In fact i didn't mention getting back together at all. I know there is no one else - he just needs space after our rocky patch. i have also ordered him a Valentines gift, single red rose and a couple of extras. Do you think this is too much? He lives 90miles away -so I can't stalk him and i have been really strong so far not to call him. I guess Valentines day is still 2 weeks away, I just don't want him to think that I am not giving him space - we both need it.... But it's Valentines Day and I feel I should do something for him.

[4getmenot]

I agree with Neathgirl, delete his number from your phone. If we wants to get in touch then you'll have his number back again. If not then you havent made a fool out of yourself by texting him. usually when drunk :-)

[Sweet cheeks]

Sorry to sound a pure bitch but, cancel the red rose and 'extras'! Why do we always feel that they need 'space!?!?!?' Darling, he's decided that he wasn't good enough for you, very brave of him... some blokes don't mind spending a life time dragging perfectly wonderful women down! It hurts like s***t and belive me, he aint thinking about you... he's thinking about the next bloke who will be taking his place. That, or the football results!!!!! For some people, they get back together again, but have you really got time for him to realise his mistake? (Bitch mode again) was it a mistake? Be 'strong!' or cry at the records... but most importantly do whats right for you. Wish I could make it all better for you....ps. life is more fun if you can laugh at the sane people!!!

[tanyalee]

Sweet Cheeks - Believe it or not he doesn't like football!!! So I guess he is thinking the latter. It all came to a head last night, I either move on or go and get help. So I move on because I am strong enough to do so - I will be cancelling the Rose etc. and spend the money on a something that makes ME feel good. I don't think your being bitchy, just realistic. I need to get a life.....like all break-ups....he will be in contact one day and I'll cross that bridge then. Until then I am free and single to enjoy life for me....hey it's not like I haven't been here before...... Thanks for the great replys.

[gill3891]

Sorry about the delay in the answer, not sure if you will read this now coz its quite old but here goes anyway...... it took him about a month to contact me! It seems like a long time but as I just got on with normal stuff (crying included), it didn't seem that long. We arranged to meet up about a month after that to talk about our feelings and then we got back together! I agree with sweetcheeks, and am glad you cancelled the rose! Spend it on something that will make you feel fab and go out with your girlfriends on Valentines Day, enjoy being single and if he decides that he doesn't want to get back together, then am sure theres a lush guy just waiting to make you feel a million bucks!!!! Hope you feel better!