How do you deal with patronising, bossy people?

[lizwizz]

I think I work hard at work. I'm reliable and consciensious, but I'm quite new so I'm still learning the job to an extent. I don't mind people telling me I should have done something or I could have done it differently, but I'm sick of being bossed about and patronised. Although I'm new to this particular job I have a lot of experience in similar posts, so I have other skills too, but I don't see why I should be bossed about by colleagues half my age just cos they've been there longer than me.

[Cymbeline]

Dear lizwizz, I don't know if this will help but I would say if there is just one bad egg then you should avoid that person. Warm to everyone else and prove that you are not the one at fault then everyone will speak of you as a pleasant, professional, helpful person and this loser will "lose out" because you can be as unhelpful to him/her as you care to be!

[4getmenot]

they may just be trying to help and you're taking it wrong way. Dont scare away from them if you need help, ask. But if they are doing it in a very bossy way that there is no need to and trying to belittle you then speak to the boss as this is a form of bullying.

[Amara]

Hi Lizwizz - It is difficult to come into an established team of people and gel with them all straight away. My advice would be to stay calm and controlled, but be firm in saying if you feel that the comments are out of line. Once you prove that you are good at your job and you are there to stay, you will find that they will settle down with you. Positive affirmations every morning will help. Good luck - Love and light - Amara x

[ludwig]

That's your interpretation of the situation. But you should also consider whether it's you being oversensitive - I don't know and I'm not criticising, just offering an alternative view. Could what you perceive as patronising just be people trying to help the new person. Also the comment 'I don't see why I should be bossed about by colleagues half my age', leads me to suspect maybe you have an issue with being told what to do (which is different from being bossed about) by those younger than you.

[gill3891]

If it was me (and I have been in this situation before), I would try and keep calm and friendly and try and make a 'friend' who can help you out. If any advice coming from other members of staff makes you feel inadequate or shows you up infront of everyone else, then I would have to say something. Don't start an arguement about it, just get that person on their own and explain that you appreciate their advice, but if they could do it in private so as not to embarass you! Hope you get on better with them! Gill 3891

[tigilou]

Hi it looks to me that they could be jelous of you so putting myself in your shoes and ive been there the nicer you can be the better if they know they are making you feel like this they are getting what they want. Next time they do this say thank you so much for your help and leave it at that then if this doesnt work id stand up to them and say that you dont apreciate being spoken to in this way and ask them what there problem is bet they will shut up then. Good luk anyway and dont let them get you down.

[irisred]

If these people are younger than you it may be that they do not have the experience of dealing with people that your older colleagues have, it may also be that they feel uncomfortable asking you to do things.

Of course it could also be that they get some pleasure out of it, if that is the case I would be inclined to let them know that you are not happy about it but are willing to work to find a way you can work together.

[Hammer Head]

I presume you're in an office environment. I've only ever worked in industry and not, thankfully in an office. I think the industrial answer would be to tell these young upstarts to **** ***!

[Hammer Head]

Go forth and multiply!