suicide...

[Dougie69]

Not a very up-beat topic of conversation, I know, but it's not something that's easily discussed with loved ones without alarming them.

I don't really have a question, I was just wondering if there was anybody else out there that's going through similar difficulties that I am.

I've been desperately unhappy for most of my adult life and tried to kill myself about five years ago by taking pills and alcohol. Vomiting shortly after probably stopped it from happening though I did feel really bad for about a week after it. The main cause of my sadness is probably relationships, or, lack of ! I was, and still am, deeply in love with someone who couldn't reciprocate it and is with someone else and though we stayed friends after I declared my feelings, it's tapered away now to the point where we hardly see each other. This has been shattering for me and I've tried as hard as possible to get on with my life, getting involved in sports and hobbies, and I have a lot of really great friends who are very supportive, but I'm still alone, scared, and utterly miserable.

The only thing that's stopped me from attempting suicide again is the thought of what it would do to my mother, who would be devastated mentally as well as financially as I have a lot of debt. The other thing stopping me, pathetic as it may sound, is the responsibility I have as a dog owner, but if any of these two things in my life were gone, I think it would definitely tip me over.

I've been to my GP, who was very understanding, and was referred to a counsellor, but unbelievably, in so many words, he basically just told me to "Give myself a shake" ! At the time, I wasn't at my lowest or that could have tipped me over, and I know that he was probably just a one off, but it has put me off seeking any other professional for help.

Sorry to post such a depressing article here but hey, that's life !

[stanleyman]

For the benefit of anyone who cannot see my point, let me explain. You do not, as seems to be the general view, have to be mentally ill or depressed to contemplate or attempt suicide and neither does being depressed mean you necessarily will.

There are all sorts of reasons, the most common probably is extreme and unbearable physical or mental pain, drug treatment for depression might make you feel better but it won't cure the cause.

I know of people who wanted uthenasia because the quality of their life was so low. I know of people who were involved in domestic situations that got out of hand and couldn't face the consequences. I know of people who couldn't handle a relationship breakup or loss of a loved one and so on.

None of them were necessarily depressed, they just felt quite rationally and logically it was the best way out for them when the alternatives would only cause more pain.

In Dougies case I think he does have a very good alternative to suicide. As a sensitive person these normal problems probably affect him much more than most, causing him to question life instead of living it.

Being lonely for most people is probably the worse thing that can happen and he deserves some TLC but for a long and happy life he needs to get out there with a positive frame of mind and find his mate.

Things will go wrong but there is always light at the end of the tunnel and you have to accept it, move on and try again and again. There is someone for you somewhere. Giving up on the search is not an option.

[mollymandy]

be nicer to yourself , your worth it . you should start appreciating yourself more , do the things in life that you like , really stop and think about what you want to do with your life , what is making you sad ? stop doing the sad things and start being good to your self , eat in fancy restaurants , walk barefoot on the beach , laugh , join a art class .. do happy things , smile visit a comedy club , mix with all sorts of people work for a charity visit the world , grab it while you can . scream if you need to ! join a gym get fit , eat good food , be happy !!

[Belle Fast]

Hi Dougie69,

Hope you are feeling better now. I think its important to know that lots of people feel like this at times and its often temporary and there is always help out there.

Unfortunately GPs are not always aware of this, for example, sometimes when a relationship is part of the problem, you would get more help from a psychotherapist than a councellor. They have more training than a councellor, though no-one is perfect and if your first psychotherapist isn't of help its worth trying another. Psychotherapy can help you work out why that relationship not working out was so shattering and will help you free yourself up for enjoying your life or possibly a new relationship. Sometimes you have to ask your GP for referal to a psychotherapist several time before they arrange this and sometimes there is a bit of a wait.

Well done for asking for help and good luck.