non-demonstrative men- I just need a hug!!

[mydogsandme]

Is it just men in my family or men in general? I've been ill all week with a stomach bug and now I have cold-virusy thing. Okay, I know I'm ill a lot and people can only sympathize so much but all I ever get in response from my husband is a grunt- my dad is exactly the same with my mum. I know people always say that men are terrible babies but mine isn't, he just works through illness and doesn't know why I can't do the same. He's said to me that if he's ill he just wants to be left alone- well, sometimes, like now all I need is a hug!!He's generally non-demonstrative anyway and I know he puts up with a lot from me but don't we all recover quicker after a bit of a cuddle? Just seems I have to keep my misery to myself.

[dancealot13]

Your probably a little bit of a hypocondriac huh? That's ok,.. so am I. My best advice, is to just keep quiet about how you feel and try to ground yourself and get yourself better. And if you really need his affection while you are sick, ask him to do something other then cuddling; like make you soup, or watch a movie together.

Get well soon ;)

[mydogsandme]

hi dance thanks for your answer. I think he just likes to have solutions to problems and he can't solve mine. Not really hypocondriac though- I have colitis and fibromyalgia.

[rampart]

I am the same way as your husband, and my wife is much like you. Some men are just wired differently. When I am sick, I do not want sympathy and I am not looking for a hug. When mrs rampart is sick, it does not occur to me to go give her a big hug or ask how she is feeling. It is just the way we are. I do not think it is right or wrong, it just is.

I should add that my wife stupidly said recently that I should treat her as well as I do the dog. Since then, every time he scratches the door to go out, I ask her if she needs to go to the restroom. I find it funny, yet she simply rolls her eyes and continues to read the paper as though I am not there. Which is exactly what I wanted in the first place: to be ignored.

[dancealot13]

mydogsandme,

Im sorry. If you really are sick (I was thinking like a sore throat here and there, a cold, a cough -thats how I am), then he should be understanding and caring. Tell him you need him to show more affection towards you because it makes you feel good, and Im sure you would do the same for him when he's not well. Hope your better soon.

[mydogsandme]

thanks :)

[maggie01]

Sorry to hear you are unwell. My husband never notices if I am not feeling too well, even if I have to drag myself of the sofa. Your user name made me smile, that's just how I fell sometimes. It's my dogs and me and I get a lot of love from them.

[gessoo]

I have a husband that's just the same mydogsandme.

Our pets get far more cuddles than me and he gets really worried about them when they are ill!! Oh well, I knew what he was like when I married him so I suppose I shouldn't complain. He's great in lots of ways but just not demonstrative (unless you are a dog or cat!) He has the same sense of humour as Rampart as well!!

[mullein3]

mr m is the same he is very laid back and just thinks i can keep going forever...i think its because his family were like that with the attitude of just get on with it...well this week he has had a mild cold allthough he said it was the flu..and he has made a right song and dance...leaving trails of mess everywhere as he is too ill to clean up after himself..!!!! and i have been cleaning up these trails of mess so i said i dont care if you are ill or not just stop making me extra work...i gave him a large dose of echinacea tincture yuk..i thought i would kill or cure him asap..