Men?!!

[bumble]

This is just a little question to all the men out there who i'm hoping could shed some light on a few things. Heres goes, I met a guy in a bar a month ago, we text each other constantly, we went out together on 3 dates, which he was always suggesting, he's been texting saying when are we going out again etc. I'd see him and he'd be all over me, and he seemed very interested. Well we went out yesterday afternoon, (he'd text me the night before saying he couldn't wait to see me), we had a nice time, he dropped me home and said he didn't want to leave me. 4 hours later I get a text from him telling me he doesn't want anything serious and he doesn't want to keep leading me on, cause he aint ready for anything, and just wanted to be straight with me and that's it, it's over. HELLO, what was all that about?!!

[Strontium]

Were you cool at first, but then revealed your feelings?

[bumble]

He knew I liked him from the start. We both said we liked each other on Sunday. And now he's saying to me he don't want it to go any further cause someone will end up getting hurt, so he wants to stop it before it starts. How can you just change like that?

[teag1rl]

being fairly cynical about these poor men, maybe saying he didn't want to leave you he was hoping he'd get some sex, and then if he didn't get any he's given up now.

[bumble]

Ok, we went out to lunch, i'd taken the afternoon off work for it. We got some food I was thinking we'd be out for a while, he says he has to go out, I don't enquire as to where he's going. In the car we're saying goodbye, I say jokingly guess i'll see you when I see you, and he says don't be like that, and then I say, well it just would've been nice to see you for a bit longer, we then kiss, he says oh I don't wanna leave you now, he didn't wanna let me go, I say, well ya gotta aint ya, he says, ok babe phone me later tonight and we'll do something at the weekend.

Sorry all for the long story!

[Twan1210]

Bubble in my eyes your better off any way because its clear that he was wanting to go further with you but didnt want to get into anything complicated so unless you are in the same frame of mind, which it doesnt look like you are, then your better off! Let the bloke chase you.....love a challenge!

[bumble]

Yeah, I see what you're saying, but why start anything in the first place? He's the one that did the chasing, what's the point in doing all that when you know you don't want anything serious. Don't think i'll ever understand!

Thanks all for your answers

[teag1rl]

the only thing you need to understand bumble is that you will never understand men-they are as big a mystery to us as we are to them. safest bet is to assume they are all stupid, then when you find one that genuinely isnt it'll be a bonus!

cue onslaught from all the boys!

[asciwhite]

brains in their bole ax.....

Mr asci an exception darling.............in case ur reading

[Strontium]

It definitely isn't the sex thing.

Most likely he has an aversion to any kind of face-to-face confrontation, so wanted to put off breaking up till he could text. As for the hugging in the car, he probably sensed that you were unhappy he had to leave, so wanted to deflect any bad feeling.

Sorry. If it's any comfort you're clearly better off without him.

[pughee]

It is a possibility that he has been hurt before and when you said the thing about goodbyes, it re-ignighted previous relationships that went sour. Maybe he thought he should end it before he gets hurt again?

As a man, I can safely say that the majority of us find it hard to really express our emotions, bottling them up until things go pear shaped. Maybe this is a case of that.

If you really like him and you thought he liked you (which it sounds like he did), talk to him. Its not always easy for men to do the follow up....believe me. Maybe he will feel more confident with you witht the fact that you are willing to talk to him about his feelings.

Now...this is only my 2 cents okay? Oh, and if you are like my wife, try not ot be over-analytical......always a strain for the man!!! :-)

[Farmer Giles]

Well as a bloke I'm afraid I'm gonna be no help at all! Who knows why he's saying one thing than another. I guess some people are just like that.

On the plus side - I'm single. And honest.

[tgon]

Maybe his cryptic text is that he's afraid he might fall for you bumble. Moving out of his comfort zone - he think he's not ready for this yet - thats all he's said. His text resets things back to his pace so he can deal with his feelings one step at a time. Patience needed here maybe - there's no hurry and being friends is a good place to start.

[bumble]

I really appreciate all you guys helping me analyse this, it doesn't look like i'll be hearing from him again, I did say i'd like to remain friends, and got a txt back saying Yeah, take care, just really dissapointed that he could be so interested and then seem so cold with me, thought it could go somewhere.

[tgon]

His loss.

[Supernick]

You said you liked him, but what did you say? Was he maiking all the running and you were being quite cool? Perhaps he was hoping to provoke a bit of a reaction in you. Perhaps he was hoping for sex and felt let down (not desperately mature but possible). What age are we talking? I only bring this up because on one of my less mature moments years back as a 19 yr old I went on a few dates, and got it into my head that because we hadn't slept together after seeing each other for a month or two, she didn't really like me after all, and I ended it. Shameful. But we grow up, honest!!

[Farmer Giles]

That's a bit crappy of him to change so much so soon. I agree that it's his loss though.

[mickey pratt]

hes married love

[khana]

I'd have to agree with tgon here. Let him take things at his own pace and if he gets in contact again then play things very cool. Some times if things appear to be going to well, then it may be all a bit much and he's looking for a bit of space. That can be a good thing for the both of you as its easy to get carried away with the moment.

[GazAbdn]

I've done this before myself, and i'm not a bad man.

Reckon he's possibly been hurt before, he maybe really liked you, but once he'd had a bit of time on his own(no disrespect bumble) he maybe realised he could fall for you pretty hard and was protecting himself by backing clean away. That's just from my experience, it may be something completely different with him!! BLOODY MEN!!!!!