Love advice required

[jen1302]

Need some advice for your learned ab people

Over past couple of months have got close with a guy from work, over Xmas we spent alot of time together and started sleeping with each other. He said that he liked the thot of us being a couple and hoped we could have alot more together. Last week this guy left for a month traveling and before he left he hardly talked to me, phoned,texted and said he was too busy with work to meet me before he left.

Feel totally devestated now, has this guy went back on everything he said and went off me?. I had just come out of a long term violent relationship when I met him, so was I pinning all my hopes on him being the one.

I really want a realtionship with him, should I confront him when he gets back to ask him if he feels the same or do I just accept he was a flash in the pan and move on?

[andy-hughes]

Without knowing either of you, it's almost impossible to comment on this with any accuracy.

It may be that he was 'withdrawing' from you in his mind, ready to get used to being without you while he is away. Maybe he thinks you won;t be there when he gets back.

The only way to know is to wait for him to contact you when he returns, and see how things are then. It doesn't sound from what he said that he thought it was a casual relationship, and he will have plenty of time to think about it while he is travelling.

Wait for him to call, and see how he appears when you see him. If he is casual, be the same - it will hurt, but you will maintain your dignity.

I really hope this works out, sounds like you deserve it after what you;ve been through, but if not, you have at least made the move towards getting past your previous relationship. No experience like his is ever wasted, and if you have to move on, you will be stronger for it.

[jen1302]

thanks andy for the advice.

have said in the past the ball is in his court, cause i havent wanted to push things and loose him even as a mate.i'll play it cool and if things dont go as i would like then at least i'll know for the next time !!

[johnlambert]

jen you sound as if you are a wee bit desperate, after coming out of a violent relationship perhaps you were.

I agree with andy, wait for him to give you a call and see how he appears

good luck

[laurence2]

jen, some very good advise from andy there.

Can i just say tho that pinning your hopes on him being the one would put a lot of pressure on you/him for it to work, As you posted, play it cool, be yourself and lets hope it turns out to be the result you crave for.

Good luck

[Bohne]

Since I don't know him, I cannot say if he was trying to avoid you, or if he really was just busy.
Sometimes that happens.

My advice though: No matter what the deal is, try pinning your hopes on yourself for once.
That's the one person who will always be there.

When you start being happy with yourself, you can start accepting other people without suffocating them.
I am not saying that's what you did...

For now, nothing has been decided...
Why don't you enjoy the time you have for yourself?
Go out with friends, take long walks, go to the cinema, museum, theater, whatever takes your fancy.
You are free to do whatever you want.

When he comes back you can talk about your worries.
Don't start accusing him straight away. You still don't know if he's done anything wrong!

[matty22]

relax, the only person you can control is yourself. wait and see what happens, stop thinking about it.