Confidence

[Andy008]

I have a personal theory that people are either highly drawn to, or repelled by, people who are extremely self-confident - i.e. self-confidence tends to polarise people's reactions, I don't believe there is much "middle ground".

I believe personally that this is a cultural thing, in the sense that a well-know British character trait is the so-called "stiff upper lip", or a tendency for self-deprecation.

I would be interested to know anyone's thoughts on this.

[Se7en]

people who are outwardly confident are not always inwardly confident

[zara 4]

I agree,the confidence on the outside in some cases covers up the lack of inside,self confidence in itself is fine but being loud or arrogant with it is a big turn off!

[Scarlett]

I agree, in that overly self-confident people can come across as obnoxious and insensitive- even embarrassing. But this is usually hiding a low self-esteem issue. But as you say, people can be drawn to "life and soul of the party" types.

[sense4all]

I like people who are self confident, on the proviso it has been established that there is a solid base of knowledge for them to be confident about.This applies to general life.

I cannot abide those people who believe and perpetuate the myth that the so and so is 'terribly clever'. I was once sat next to a toadying husband, who was telling everybody, all night, how clever his super obnoxious wife was. I am sorry : his wife was an over bearing fool who thought that a front of misinformation would secure her future in the City.Sadly she was one of the first to go when rationalisation occured.In the mean time she took home large sums of money for over a year.IMHO under false pretences.

So I think you are right there is not much 'middle ground'.There are those who have every right to be confident and those for whom it is all bluster and front!

[sunflower68]

I know what you mean Andy008. I do find Brits a funny bunch - many are like sheep. If 2 people stood in the same queue behind a cash machine when there were 2 machines, it's likely that if a 3rd person came along he'd stand behind the 2nd person without checking if the other machine actually works. So afraid are we of looking fools.

The over-confident person in this country at least can often be seen as the wierd and wacky one standing out from the crowd. We Brits are watchers in the main, hoping the wierdos make fools of themselves.

[cliffsdoll]

not quite the same topic but people are weird, i was talking to a lady who i knew slightly, she knew i suffered with psoriasis and proceeded to tell me about a gentleman she knew who also had the condition, she was doing ok untill in all seriousness she said.. and do you know he was one of the most intelligent people i've ever met, WELL i was speechless, how do you respond to that one?. by the way andy i'm quite a confident person and like to treat people as if they are important just as i would like them to treat me, we're all vip ;s . good question

[Jay70]

I find in todays society we are really encouraged to be confident. But it's no good being confident for the sake of it unless you actually know your stuff, otherwise you'll soon like like a prat. If you do know your stuff however it wont take long for this to be self evident and people will have confidence in you which I think is more desireable. If this is the case you don't need to be pushy and overly outward. Unfortunately there are some poor souls who dont recognise fact this but its to their own peril in the end.