Marriage

[SKY250]

What do you think of marriage is it a waste of time and money when the two people are totally committed anyway. Do they really need to be man and wife?

[Se7en]

At best get registry office do with no guests. Have a house party for family afterwards. Whats the point of wasting so much money when it prob aint gonna last that long anyway.

[jno]

Marriage involves legal rights and obligations, particularly when it ends. When unmarried couples split up, the woman may find herself with far fewer property rights than a married woman, for instance.

[zara 4]

se7en,you are very cynical,don't sound like a happy bunny at all.for some people marriage is great,for others no,it doesn't work but its down to personal choice!

[Otrere]

I think my marriage is worth it. We did ours on a very tight budget - civil ceremony in a hotel - we had a fabulous day.

All the mass "hoo-ha" of a church wedding and having a big fancy do didn't matter to us. We just wanted to show our friends and family that we love each other and want to spend the rest of our lives together and we still feel like that now. I certainly never regret doing the deed.

We were committed beforehand in that we had bought a house together and have a daughter together.

I asked him to marry me - and he was keen to get married sooner rather than later and we now feel that our relationship and family are complete. I am proud to take on his surname and show that I am committed to someone I love very much who loves me. It was the next natural step for us to take.

Saying that, it just doesn't suit some people - each to their own eh?

[PhilBy]

I agree! Why bother getting married.............. Just find a woman you hate and giver her your house :-)

[zara 4]

OR your bike eh PhilBy?

[PhilBy]

Oh no Zara 4, will fight man & beast to keep me bike :-)

[zara 4]

Knew that, all you men are the same!

[Se7en]

Zara I wasnt being cinical.

Not gone down that road yet myself. Will only do it once. My cousin was with her bloke for 10 years from 17, they had a kid early on. They got married after 10 years together to make it all official and promptly split 1 year later and got divorced. Complete waste of time. If youve got a kid then its probably better to wed, but seen so many people split after max of 4 years wed.

[PhilBy]

Se7en would never manage to get her washing machine down the isle lol. (she would have to get it off first:-)

I've got a son so it maybe doesn't apply to me but if I had a daughter I think I would sooner put several thousand pounds into their bank account than to spend it on a Church Wedding & all the trimmings....... being young and in love is one thing, but being young, in love and skint is something entirely different!

[noxlumos]

I got married to my first wife, in a great big hooha event with everybody but the flaming Pope there, which cost enough to feed the third world for a year, only to have my new wife throw one of her "me,me,me" strops at the reception and inform me that she actually had just realised that she wasn't actually sure if I was the right man for her and didn't really know what she wanted anymore!!!???!!! Several hideously miserable years later it ended predictably badly.My second wife and I just decided that we didn't need any of that cr*p and went off quietly together for the weekend and made our own commitment to each other and did everything very quietly.

I love the idea of her being my wife as she makes me so happy and proud but I don't think, from my own personal experience, that it matter one iota whether you are married or not, it's the commitment between the two of you that matters. there are legal implications for the cohabiting for sure, but in moral terms as long as your love knows that you belong to them that's all that matters.

[zara 4]

Yeah i see what you're saying se7en,we knew a couple, together 17 years,got married,divorced within months so yeah,marriage aint always the way i guess,as long as you're committed,does a wedding have to be!!! Committment is surely much more important,

[Jennykins]

Marrage is what it means to you and that is what it Marrage is............

For me it was to be married in the eyes of God... From doing that I made a promise.. and we will never brake it.

for some people its about money and legal rights... for some its for the party and looking good infront of people..

For some its getting into a country HAHAH...

If you feel it has no meaning to you .. then there should be no marrage right... because what would you be commitng your self to ? The Government?

GOOD LUCK!!!!! Jen

[laurence2]

people who post on this thread who are not married should keep silent, where all entitled to our views, but until you have been there got the T-shirt so to speak, i suggest keep quite.

Sky250, '' is it a waste of time and money'' what expirence do you have in being married?

Its the best thing that's ever happened to me, i have been married for 15 years, have 2 boys and would'nt change it for the world, your wedding vowels quote commitment which dose'nt seem to be the case now days.

Its a sad day when where getting post thinking people feel they don't need to make a commitment in life, ie mother/father/ financial/security.

Agreed you don't have to get married, but i feel where living in a society where people have babies/split up/sleep around & are not willing to take responsibilities.

The bottom line is the word ''Commitment'' thats what scares people today.

[Lonnie]

Marriage is what you make it, 'it has to be worked at', like any relationship, if you love your partner, and you hit a bad patch, fight for it. Occasionally, as with noxlumas's first marriage, it becomes irretrievable, but thats life, life itself is a fight, I've been married twenty seven years now, and some of it has been hard, but we got through, because we love each other, and it was worth fighting for. But its not for everyone, we are all different.

[Lollyhoney]

My other half an I have been together for 5 years. We are engaged to be married, but have no plans as of yet. We cannot afford a big bash at this time as we are saving to buy a house. Lets face it, buying a house together is a huge commitment. We cannot see what a marriage certificate can add to our relationship at this time other than a big hole in our savings!

[andy-hughes]

I'm not sure if we are confusing 'wedding' and 'marriage' here.You can certainly do one without the other.

For my ten pence worth - I've been married for nineteen years, and we were together for six years before that. It hasn't been easy, but the problems have never been between the two of us, we have dealt with the knocks that come everyone's way in life, and I don't regret being married at all.

Marriage is a statement to the world of the commitment you have made to each other - if you don;t feel you want to do that, no problem. It works for some not others, but no-one really knows what goes on in a marriage, except the two who are married.

[SKY250]

Thanks for all of your opinions

Laurence 2 i am not married at the moment but have been with my partner for 5 yrs and we have been engaged for nearly 3 yrs. We are thinking of gettin married next year. I really want to become his wife not to prove my committment as we are both fully committed we have a daughter togerther and a house and we feel that if we were man and wife our family would be complete thats just our take on our life. Not because we feel we have to but that we want to.

I have had lots of different people say its not right to have a small affair or that you shouldn't even get married as we are committed anyway and that marriage would finish us. I don't see why as we are not doing it for committment reasons we are doin it because we want to marriage won't change how we feel about each other. I mainly just wanted to know others views and see that marriage can make your life complete as Otrere agrees. This does not change anything we still plan to marry hopefully next year.

Thanks again

[Bohne]

No they don't need to.
Everybody to their own liking.

I am still happily married, and wouldn't change it for the world.