Teenage/underage pregnancy

[jelly-baby]

Am I the only one fed up with these girls?

I thought it was illegal to have sex under 16, yet a 14-year old can get pregnant and be thrown money from the state, and while they're at it - throw in a little house too so they can bring their child up to be as lovely as they are. Don't worry love, we don't expect you to earn a penny from now on, we will hand you all the benefits you need.

Do they do it as an easy way out of getting a job and so they won't have to get a mortgage to buy a house? or is it just a fashion accessory these days?

I am pretty sure that 99% of these pregnancies are not 'accidents' - it is exactly what the immature little minds want.

[andy-hughes]

Hi jelly-baby - I have read your posts, and the responses with interest.

In an ideal world, fourteen-year-old girls would not get pregnant, but they do, for a variety of reasons, and I suspect that being forward-thinking enough to plan getting a council house ps pretty far down the list. Why? Because a lot of children today are sadly ignorant of the simple facts of sex eucation, and the are raised in families who are similarly ignorant of facts about contraception, assuming they had the communication skills, and a close enough relationhip with their daughters, to pass that information on.

Your views are somewhat 'clear cut' for want of a better expression, and I can assure you as a parent of three girls that you tell your daughters what they should and should not do, and hope they listen, but there is no guarentee that they will.

Sex for underage girls is often a search for the love and affection they have missed growing up. A lot of these girls don't think too much about anything - things in life happen to them, and they have to deal with the consequences, often without parental, or indeed state support.

I am sorry to read that you would 'make' your daughter have an abortion, I hope that if that ever happened, you would love her, and support her, and try and make a decision based on what she wants, and what is best for her and her baby.

Comminication is the root of all family relationships, sadly it is absent in a lot of them, but that doesn;t mean that some sort or arbitrary tick list can be used to determine who 'deserves' support, and who doesn't.

The comment that tigilou 'found a high earner to support her' suggests a somewhat Victorian concept of relationships and support, and ignores what tigilou said in her previous post.

[tigilou]

andy-hughes he is the father of my child

[saffyj]

 i can understand your frustration but i think 14 years old is a bad example for a calculated move like you describe.in fact, id say thats lack of parental supervison, poor role models etc.come on, get a grip, what 14 year old would even be thinking about playing house.yes there is an underclass of teenage girls out there who for whatever reason, have no direction in life, want to escape family circumstances and get a house of their own.i think the media etc have a lot do with this,there are less deseving more calculated people draining our taxes.get your priorities right!

[funkymoped]

i agree 100% with jelly bean`s original thread..

why should i as a working tax payer subsidise these no hopers ?? i got kids, but my kids were raised with good advice and the desire to move forward in life, not to be a sponge... soaking up all that is available to those who know how to work the system..

[saffyj]

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<TD id=HB_Focus_Element vAlign=top width="100%" background="" height=250 UNSELECTABLE="off">beleive me, your taxes aint gettin soaked up by 14 year olds.i guess we all have our greivances i suppose, misguided or not</TD></TR>
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[noxlumos]

Jelly baby people like you make me so angry. Your remark about you making your daughter have an abortion is one of the most disgusting things I've ever read on this site.The irony of a person like you critising other parents ( however old they are) is huge. Lets just hope your kids never need you, because you sure as hell won't be there for them will you? Or in your little dream world is everything like The Waltons?

[Elle-and-Ben]

I�m sorry but I think the writer of this post has an absolutely DISGUSTING attitude.

I am currently 17 years old, I fell pregnant at 16, and I am 30+4 with my first child with my long-term boyfriend.

My boyfriend is currently in his last year of studying for a degree in Law from a reputable University. In September 2007 I also hoep to start training as a Nurse - I really wouldn�t say the was �sponging� off the Government.

Although I was shocked to find out I was pregnant, I was also happy at the thought of bringing a child into the world, and I can assure you that for 99.9% of teenage parents, there is no ulterior motive to the pregnancy. To even suggest that teenagers get pregnant for housing and money is outrageous!!

It makes me feel so angry and sick that you think just that you are a few years older than me, that you will be a better parent and your child would be mor eloved and wanted.

I quote ��I am pretty sure 99% of these pregnancies are not �accidents� - it is exactly what the immature little minds want.�� ......... Do I sound immature to you? My pregnancy ws unplanned but thorugh no fault of my own, I was on contraceptives, but they failed me, does this make me immature?

I find you absolutely disgusting and I hoep you will take back your previous quotes.

Again, 99.9% of teenage mothers love their children dearly, and just because we�re young it doesn�t make us bad parents, we love are children and we are not/did not have them purely for money.

Again, you digust me!!!

[Aughust-baby]

i am 20 years old and pregnant with my first child, but i was 19 when i fell pregnant, does that make me a teenage mum? a scrounger of the state etc. my partner ( yes also the father of my child you will be amazed to hera) have been together nearly 5 years, i think thats a strong and stable enough relationship, i also work full time as a support worker in a mental health home, my partner is a full time delivery driver and between us pay the rent and bills on our house. we pay our taxes but that doesnt suddenly make us better people, the ideal walton family lifestyle you obviously think this world should be like. i feel sorry for your daughter should she be on the pill but is caught out or the condom splits, what if she, as a human being and future mother wants to keep the baby?? are you going to send her off to a convent like they did 60 years ago?, the moment a women/girl conceives she has natural instincts to protect her offspring and these get stronger as her body prepares her for motherhood, forcibly taking that away can cause colossal amounts of emotional damage she may never recover from, of course your to up your own backside to ever see further down the line than your own set of single minded blinkers will let you.

[jelly-baby]

Just wondering tigi if you are going to encourage your child to have a baby when they are a teenager as it seems to have been such a good idea for you, or are you not going to let them make the same 'mistake' you did?

[Fat Boy]

jelly-baby exactly where did Tigilou say that having a baby in your teens was a good idea? Why on earth would she encourage her children to get pregnant?

You mentioned immature little minds in your post - I guess the irony of your words has escaped you.

[loobie]

jelly-baby,

In response to your comment on "I would make my daughter have an abortion" - as there is the risk with abortion that the woman may become infertile I'm sure your daughter (if you actually had one) would absolutely love you if YOU forced her into abortion in which case YOU took away any chances of her having children later in life.

I know I would never be able to forgive my dad if he forced me to do this (not that he would because he is a decent father). And I'm sure you'd never be able to forgive yourself for destroying any relationship you had with your daughter.

If you ever have a daughter come back and let us know your views then because at the moment as you do not have one I do not think you are completely qualified to make that statement.

[clairelb]

Slightly misguided views re these girls getting money from the state. Any underage mother is NOT entitled to help from the state - not even child benefit. As stated underage sex is illegal and therefore the state would be condoning an illegal act if they did fund it.

In cases such as these, the girl's parents (or even the father of the child's parents) would have to become guardian of the baby for any payment to be make - the '14 year old' would therefore still not directly benefit. So your view of free housing for 14 year olds is very, very wrong.

[Bohne]

I am fed up with superficial opinions like this one.

[lauraking72]

i just want to say that i was just 16 when i gave birth to my daughter, i lived with my parents at the time and my father was in the forces, we were based in germany, I was not given any help with my child and i was not offered a house even when we returned to the uk, although i did recieve a weekly payment from the benefits agency. i did not get any back payments so luckily my parents supported me. my daughter is now 17 and doing well

[kitty&ewan]

excuse me im 20 and have 2 children.

i was 17 when i had my son and id worked everyday since leaving school.

i OWN my house and business, i dont live on benefits but dont see what the hell it has to do with you what we teen mums do.

would you rather this girl lived the street with her baby?

just because we are young dosn't mean we aren't as good as the older mothers.

my kids never go with out and most fo the girls i now are brilliant mums either in college or working.

you really need to think about what your saying as we hear this argument every day and we always kick back and shame the person with this attitute.

you may not be the only one fed up with THESE girls but are you fed up with anyone else on benefits getting free house and stuff?

i think you need to sit down and think just what is your problem?

and you need to apolagise to any of the young mums who you have offended.

most of these young girls who have abortions have them because of small minder people like you.

[kitty&ewan]

Also, if my 14-year old daughter got pregnant, I would make her have an abortion.

you are sick, what are you goin to do hold her down i dont think so.

you cant make anyone have an abortion and no doctor would lat her have one unless thery were 100% sure it was what SHE wanted not her ignorant small minded mother who i my opinion needs knocking down a peg or 2.

only 16+ gets you a house so you are talking rubbish about the woung girl getting a house, under 16 yrs and you dont even get your child benefits they are given to your parents.

[whiskeysheri]

My sister became pregnant at 17, it was in no way planned but I can guarantee if my parents had forced her into having an abortion, we would never have seen her again.

She is now the mother to the happiest and most beautiful 15 month old daughter. I am so proud of her and the way she supports the two of them.

I think your 'facts' are based on what you've come across in the media. Rarely do you see an article on teen mums who support themselves- wouldn't sell very well, would it?

I agree that people use the benefits system and that it's very wrong, but this is not exclusive to teens, which surely you must be aware of?

You cannot tar all teenage mothers with the same brush, and you have no right to look down on them.

...And for the record, my sister is one of the most mature people I've come across.

Get down off your high horse!!

[morg_monster]

well with decreasing birth rates among what jelly-baby would I'm sure call 'proper' families, it is a good job that young mums are having babies - these babies will go on to become the workers whose taxes will support us in our old age, when there are too many old people and not enough new children being born.

And before jelly-baby says it - I'm sure that the proportion of teenage mums' kids who go on to get a decent job is the same as that in the offspring of women say, over 21. In fact it is probably higher - the young mums wanting their kids to work hard and enjoy the things they perhaps were unable to.

[tigilou]

If my daughter became pregnant at 14 no i wouldnt be happy but you can be sure i would support her in everything she does and has to go through especially coming across people like you also can you tell me one mother that encourages her child to get pregnant. Where does it say in my post i made a mistake. Just looking through the replys you really havent got a clue have you. As many have said i think your sick. And when your sixty odd getting on the bus with your bus pass just remember it will be my daughter and i paying for your trip down town and your extra heating alowance and god knows what other benefits you can get. Lets also hope you dont become ill and have to give up work and rely on us tax payers to look after you. But that would be dofferent wouldnt it

[Frankie Babe]

Am I the only one fed up with these girls?

Since when could girls get pregnant by themselves?