Where you a bully?

[Loosehead]

Just been reading the bullying thread. Anyone here prepared to own up to being a bully? Can you explain why you did it? Why are kids so pittyless? Are bullies just bad or is it some sort of phase do they get some sort of pleasure out of it? Do they not have empathy? a lot of questions I know, I'd like to try and understand the mentality.

[mimififi]

I was not a bully, but was bullied.

i think generally bullies are victims of a much wider canvas of abuse. Generally people who bully are exerting power in a situation where they can following a situation where they can't or to hide a deep seated insecurity.

There are cases, of course, of people who have not suffered anything specific, they are just bullies, however, they are few and far between.

Imo

[OBonio]

I was accused of bullying once. This little snot in the year below was managing to get the attentions of the girl I was 'in love' with at 14. So myself and a mate took it upon ourselves to run at him full pelt everytime we saw him. If he didn't get out of the way, he'd be tumbled over...

Just childish jealous behaviour really. I didn't see it as bullying at all and still don't really. The fact his older brothers used to try and bully me might have had something to do with it too.... saying that, I think my brother might have bullied them...

[cliffsdoll]

yes i was a bully, i was brought up in a childrens home for 11 years, without parents, i was jealous of the local grammer school kids who had parents with cars, they had nice clothes and everything, i know it must have been awfull for them getting beat up every week by the care kids, and if anyone of them happens to read this, i,m trully sorry. it must sound like i was a proper thug but that was'nt the case, i craved for love and affection, but did;nt relize at that age it was'nt the right way to get it. what upset me the most was when i saw the mothers dropping off their kids and kissing them goodbye, we were let out the door to make our own way to school and had no love from anyone. no i did'nt feel empathy, but i do now as a mum and grown up.

[Zorr0]

No...the bullies at my school tended to b the thickies

[mimififi]

Cliffs doll, if I were there with you, I'd give you a great big hug. your story has made me cry.

:-(

[Jennykins]

Hey loosehead, good question.. and Im sure there are so many answers to why someobdy bullys.. In school I would get into fist fights.. but I was the one kicking the bullys butts haha...I didnt like seeing someone make fun of somebody or push them around.. I think bullys are very insecure. So when I saw a "geek" get slamed.. well... I would slam the bully ... And only once I got my butt kicked ... so thats pretty good.. but also thats back 10+ years ago... I wouldnt fight somebody now and havent since I was in school... Not sure why I was that way tho... hmm?

JEN

[robbo82]

I've heard it said that everyone is either bullied or a bully at some point during their life, but I disagree with this, as I was neither. Admittedly, I went to a very good all-boys school, where the slightest hint of bullying would not have been tolerated, but I still this statement is a bit of an exaggeration.

[cliffsdoll]

cheers for that mimifit, robbo82 i think it could be right that people are bullied or the bullies, like i said i was a bully, but i also had my turns at being bullied too.

its part of life but thats not to say its right, it should'nt be tolerated and kids should always tell someone.

[Loosehead]

Thanks all, expecially cliffsdoll you've helped me understand.

[vivalamojo]

The reason people bully is because you are getting upset. It is not because of what they are teasing you about, it is the fact that they can see that is either hurts or angers you.

This is one of the most useful websites I've found on the topic and what you can do about it: http://www.bullies2buddies.com/