To call or not to call?

[bowannabow]

What do you do when someone you've been seeing and all seems well, suddenly stops contact?

The last communication was a 'happy easter' text from me a few days ago and i've heard nothing since.

We were together for a few months then broke up (not my choice) and reently started seeing each other again - this in itself made the situation somewhat edgy on my part. Now I guess I know where I stand! What do people think? I am angry, disappointed and expected more from this person who I thought had the balls to speak up if there was a problem.

Should I just leave it or ask for an explaination?

[~Ruby~]

If it was me I would certainly want to know what the hell was going on. I'd need to know actually. I don't think you should sit back and be quiet and make it easy for this person to slip away quietly! Try and contact them at an appropriate time and a time when you know they are in and they can talk. But if things are over, then learn from this and DON'T give them anymore chances. :o)

xx

[Champagne]

Well I think that this person is rude and a wimp! They should at least have the courtesy to tell you to your face that things are over if that is the case. Assuming that this person isn�t commited to other projects right now (i.e. excessive workload, house move or other such event that could encroach on their personal life); or had a tendency to reply to texts a few weeks late; or had lost their mobile phone and doesn�t have your number anywhere else, then I would definitely take the silence as a rejection. In which case I would personally walk away quietly and not contact them ever again. If you text or leave messages now and they don�t respond, their silence will only make you angrier and then you�ll be prone to sending more angry texts and messages. In the end you�ll be the one looking like an obsessive ex who doesn�t have the ability to let go. Don�t let anybody give you that bad image, no matter how much better you feel you deserve. Hold your head up high and go out and find somebody better I say.

[~Ruby~]

Actually yeah.. I changed my mind... listen to Champers... Plus if you don't contact them.. they might feel pretty miffed that you didn't come after them.

[bowannabow]

Thanks for your advice. I have to say I was thinking along the lines of your advice Ruby at first - Champers has changed my mind though. Will hold head up and move on - it's frustrating but the person involved knows they are in the wrong and I don't want to make myself feel worse by pursuing matters further....

Thanks

x

[Gevs1966]

Whatever happened to giving someone the benefit of the doubt. Something may have happened, he may have lost his phone etc etc, these things do happen.

[Champagne]

Go out and flirt like a mad thing. YEAY!!! :o)

[Rubyrose]

Yeah she changed my mind too. :o)

Good old Champs.

He will be totally miffed when he realises you don'y give a cr@p and you are out having fun!

[bowannabow]

Gevs

I agree to some extent re. 'benefit of doubt'. However, after the easter break he will be back at work and hasnt sent me an email or anything explaining such a possibility. If he comes back to me this week with a valid reason for the turn of events, then fair enough I will take a view on whether to hear him out.

[robbo82]

What is it with the boyfriends of ABers being d!cks? Every day someone seems to post a thread about how noncomittal/stand-offish/rude/nasty their boyfriend is being. To quote Bonnie Tyler, 'where have all the good men gone and where are all the gods...?' (Most of them seem to be here on AB!)

[bowannabow]

I guess of everything was hearts and flowers people wouldn't feel the need to vent their problems on AB Robbo. I personally find people's opinons and suggestions very helpful and its sometimes good to talk to people who don;t know you rather than friends.

There are some decent people out there, there are also some gits - such iis life.

[shazbang]

i was in the same situation myself a few years ago. had been going with this fella for a few months and my friends pointed out to me that i was phoning him more than he was phoning me. so i decided not to phone him to see what would happen. needless to say, i never heard from him again. i never asked what his problem was because i had more pride than that. i wasn't going to run after him. unless his phone's been stolen or he's been kidnapped i would assume he's not coming back. sorry hun