punishment

[websurfer]

how do you punish a partner that cheated on you?

that is, if you do not intend to separate

[jno]

sometimes people do cheat only once and never again, perhaps because they can't handle the guilt or the grief it causes their partner. So I don't agree that if he's done it once he'll definitely do it again. Knowing him, you'll be a better judge of this than other ABers.

But I think punishing him would be a mistake. Punishment really does wrap matters up: he's caught, he's punished, it's over. That tends to eliminate the guilt - and of course you don't want that, you want him to remember the guilt so he won't repeat it. (This doesn't mean either of you has to wallow in it, it's just a matter of him remembering how he hurt you.)

[dancealot13]

Hi Websurfer- OK this is coming from a SCORPIO.

The way to get back at a mate that cheated is ....jelousy!! Make him jelouse. It is my saving grace. Give yourself a make-over, buy new cloths, and treat yourself. Go out with your girlfriends more often (for a few weeks), and just play like your in college again. Make him realise that you CAN LIVE WITHOUT HIM if it comes down to it. Make him realise that you will NOT sit around hurt and sulking over the fact that he strayed because he isn't the only thing in this life that makes you happy.