I Wonder Why This Number Is Rising So...
Politics2 mins ago
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Mr Boo and I were getting errrrr amorous in our back garden (we were drunk- OK?) very late one night, when our neighbour walked past with his 2 dogs, he didn't even stop in his tracks he just said "evenin'" and carried on...........
What made it worse was when we were in our local pub several weeks later,said neighbour was also in with his friends, as we collected our drinks from the bar and went pottering off to find a table we could hear them all sniggering.....I bet I know what the topic of conversation was!
long story - short version...
deserted beach - 40 mins walk from the nearest path, not seen anyone for hours - perfect opportunity to swim naked and make love on the sand (well pebbles actually) - it was at this moment that the 30 odd bird watchers wondered over the dunes with binoculars and cameras in hand... much embarrassment and frantic searching for clothing ensued
Ok, I'll try and keep this short.
A spring-time walk a good few years ago, in a small, wooded valley with the girlfriend and dog.
We come across a small church and churchyard surrounded by railings. Stuck in the railings is a lamb. Since we have the dog with us, I ask the girlfriend to take the dog, and to stay well back and keep out of its line of sight.
As I near the lamb, I can see that it has tried to get through a section of the railings that are bent apart, it has got halfway through the widened part, but has become trapped by the haunches where the rails narrow again further down.
I get into the churchyard and, (in order to lift the lamb up through the wider part of the bent railings, so that it can escape), I approach it from behind, and position myself on my knees behind the lamb, and start to lift up its rear.
Then the vicar walks out.
There's me on my knees, holding on to the rear of a lamb and muttering some jibberish about "girlfriend...dog.." (who, of course, are nowhere to be seen), "...poor lamb....stuck...help."
You'll be pleased to know that the lamb escaped.
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