Settling for second best????

[spk]

How many people nowadays do you think just settle for second best? Why are people sometimes so terrified of being alone? I would much rather be alone than be unhappy but is that normal? Am I too picky? Just a thought !

[Jennykins]

I think your right.. some people do settle.. but that is nothing new... People have been staying with partners they didnt really truly want to be with your years and years and YEARS lol. I think there are so many reasons people stay with there partner.. tho they would rather be with someone else.. or who know's maybe they are to scared to be alone.. Or maybe they just get to comfortable and are to lazy for change.... Some people were sold to the mans familey...lol... Who know's... but I do agree.. that many people are in a relationship for the wrong reasons... And be picky spk.. Its your life and you deserve the best...Heck..WE ALL DO!!!.....lol

[kazzianne]

I think loads of people settle for second best - better the devil you know and all that.It takes guts to risk being alone or finding "the one".I did it for years,stayed with somebody I shouldnt.coz I thought it was the best thing for my kids - but it wasnt.Now Im very very happy with someone but it took me till I was 36 to be brave and go for it!!

[*Zeus*]

Im too picky...I only go for Supermodels

[Misky]

I was lucky and found my perfect partner when I was 24, after "settling" for someone before hand, getting engaged and then having the guts to own up that I didn't love him like I should. My friend, however, has not yet found the One, but refuses to settle and although she would love to be married and settled down, is still following her heart. She has great fun looking though - she goes on blind dates that me and other friends set up for her "just in case". Almost of the men want to see her again, but she says none of them have been the One, and she'll keep on looking till they find each other. Which is so romantic I think.

[Champagne]

I agree. I�ve seen so many couples who obviously aren�t right together, and I have plenty of friends who don�t know what it is to be single. Some of them have been serial dating since the age of 15. How on earth can you know who you are if you�ve always had to think as a partnership?

[WendyS]

I suspect that individuals who are unable to be content with their own company settle for second best for fear of lonliness. Other stay with unsuitable partners through habit or financial insecurity. I'm sure that those who pick the most suitable partners are those who have strong self-awareness skills in terms of knowing their own personality and behavioural traits and the ability to recognise compatability or otherwise in a prospective partner, plus the honesty to face up to the realties of such situations. You can love somebody very much yet if you're honest with yourself know they would be a totally unsuitable or incompatible partner. So I guess one of the secrets of picking the right person is "Know yourself first". Even that doesn't guarantee total success but it's a good starting point.

[andy-hughes]

Being an individual and living alone and outsided a relationship takes a degree of self-reliance and self-awareness that a lot of people simply do not have.

Living alone and being single is far more common than it used to be, but the tribal 'couple' model still holds a powerful sway over a lot of people, who feel they have to follow the pattern to be accepted.

I think it is perfectly normal to want the best for yourself, but in saying that, you are defining yourself as a stronger person that are a lot of individuals, so rejoicce in your strength of character, which will be a powerful attraction to the right person when, and if they appear.

[Ethmer]

Second best does not necessarily equate to an inferior quantity.

[jason1980]

Hi..

The amount of times I have said to people... I dont want "you could do worse" I want "you couldn't get better.."

You could do worse is what people say when they try to fix me up. Im a single 26yr man and I just want to mee one perfect woman that would suit me down to the ground and vice versa.

ive been single for ages, makes me wonder why nobody would want a 26yr old male, 5ft 9, 40in chest, 32in waist, short dark robbie williams style hair, brown eyes, slight shayne ward style facial hair, accountant - male....

Another reason why I hate being single is lack of sex, Im not the type of man that wants to meet people in a club - I dont do one night stands ever...even though the thought is there..lol

[spk]

thanks everyone for your posts- I agree Im 27 and single through choice. I dont want to waste time with the wrong man and would much rather be alone than be with someone for the sake of it. Ive had serious relationships in the past but I cant stay with somebody because they are nice etc and as jason 1980 says the "you could do worse" thing. I think I deserve to be with someone thats worthy of me and I of them and I aint taking any less than that. Thanks for reminding me why Im happy in my own company for now !! xxxx