How do you kick youself up the arse?

[yellowocean]

My sister recently split from her long term partner and to help her ot after returning from travelling i moved in with her so she could afford rent bla bla.. She has now met someone new (few months) and has moved in with him. Its all good and i'm really pleased but nevertheless i am left with bills i am struggling to manage. On top of that because i went travelling my job is just cover for a company hear n there. So, my question is, as i planned on studying to persue a career that moves me (something i've never done) and now i can't cos i'm stuck. Now i think ive got a touch of depression and to get oout of bed taked about half a day! I don'tgo out now cos i'm skint (and depressed) and if i could sleep forever i would. I have always been optomistic and was doing charity work abroad etc but i just can't kick myself up the butt! any suggestions?

[gill3891]

Is there any chance that you can move somewhere that you can afford?

If you were an optomistic person before all this happened, don't worry, you will get it back! I think that feeling depressed like this is a state of mind and you can overcome it! Money worries are a major problem in anyones life so have a think if there is anyway you can afford to move/ask someone to live with you etc. I think it's a bit shocking that your sister has just upped and left you high and dry, does she know how you are feeling and why?

Think positive coz you will get through this! Just wait and see! If the feeling of depression persist, then I would suggest going to see someone, not necessarily to get anti-depressants (coz sometimes they cause more damage the good) but to get some help in dealing with your feelings.

Hope you feel better soon xx

[yellowocean]

Cheers. I could move back home with my folkes but i'm 27 and i don't want to stress them out either. I'm leaving out a detail that i have a man who wont take no for an answer with regards to us splitting up. As in i have told him clearly and nicely but he is blotting it out. So i think i'm depressed because i no exactly how to sort the problem but it involves being stern and harsh. This would work with usual situations i no but this one is a little different. I a white and this guy is Asian and has told me things i did not ask for and to be honest ive not come accross anyone in my short 27 years i would say scares me until this one. But as soon as i realised, he was in! How do you get rid of some one who has no resoect for them selves, the law, anyone who is not the same faith as him and who is drive by a bitter slant on Islam. I am in a rite mess i think. Hence my request for jobs abroad? Ha You have to laugh. I am just going to have to grow some big balls and take what comes arn't i? x

[~Wingnut~]

Hey there yellowocean,

If your that afraid of this man, please don't take any risks, speak to the police about your safety, get some advice. You don't have to grow bigger balls to deal with this! far from it. I'm pretty sure your parents would rather you moved back in with them and be safe than what is really going on! At least you would have a base, have more money as I assume your parents wouldn't charge you full rent and if jobs abroad came up you would have no ties (sorting out cancelling rent, giving notice, bills etc..) and could leave whenever, which doesn't sound half bad to me :o)

Hope it all works out for you :o)

[Aprilis]

I'm with ~Wingnut~ on this....moving back in with your folks seems the answer to all your probs for all the reasons already given. It only needs to be temporary until you are financially back on your feet again and are able to move on. Sometimes you need to take one step back to enable you to clearly see the path/s forward (if you understand what I mean!).

I do sympathise with you as I had a similar relationship once with an Asian guy and funnily enough I was about the same age as you are now. He became violent and my only option in the end was to seek an injunction. My Dad frogmarched me to a solicitor and made me see it through. I'm glad he did as it worked and I never had any more probs after that. I hope that you can sort things before you have to resort to that but it's always an option if all else fails. I wish you all the best and hope things work out well for you.

[mousey9t]

yellowocean do your parents live very far from where your living now? does this guy know where they live?

[yellowocean]

My parents live near by yes. And he does know where they live. I am trying to be as clever as possible at the minute and keep it polite but its clear i am going to heve to just turn arn't i. I am not interested in anything he's said or is going to say but hes made it clear in a passive aggressive way that i would come to physical harm if i chenged my mind on seeing him. I don't suffer fools and never have and thats hy i'm trying to be clever about it. I am going to do it today and just face it i think. I only discovered AB yesteday and its a good job cos its like a free shrink job! ha x thankyou for all your advice from AB X