Getting someone out of your head.

[I-say]

My boyfriend ended our relationship weeks ago. But how do I get over the urge to text and make contact? I cant just go out and socialise as I have children to care for. I find I cant get through the day without thinking about him. And I want to STOP it. But I just cant. HELP! as I am feeling very depressed.

[rd14962]

Sorry to hear you are feeling so low at the moment. Once you are certain there is no going back then is the time for you to move on, I know it's a cliche, but time is a very good healer. Enjoy your time with your children. They may be missing him too. Make lots of fun plans together, you don't need to spend money, a walk in the woods or a play in the park are ideal and you will be able to focus your mind, on other things, rather than keep thinking about him.

Make contact with friends, you don't need to go out, they can visit you. If you do need a night out, get a pal to mind the kids, you can return the favour. I have been a single dad to two wonderful kids for four years now, although I do date and have a social life, I enjoy every day I spend with them and they grow up so fast.

Just as an afterthought, no one likes to be 'chased' by a jilted lover. Remember the old saying 'Treat 'em mean, keep 'em keen' Ignore the urge to contact him. I wish you luck

Regards

Rupert

[Rubyrose]

I-say,

I am very sorry to hear that. I know that no matter how many people tell you to stop contact with him, you won't listen. Its something that you have to realise yourself. I have something that may help you though.. I have an Ebook called 'How to get your ex back'. It is cleverly filled with tips on moving on with your life though. It has been a great help and I have sent it to other ABers aswell and have had good feedback. I can send you a copy via email if you want? If so, send me an email at [email protected] and I will send it.

Good luck. xx

[Jennykins]

hmmmmm

[*Zeus*]

Jenny....does that mean you cant get someone outa your head?

[kazzianne]

Is there absolutely no way you two could get back together??

[I-say]

Hi, and thank you all for your replies. Today I woke up and felt much more positive. I have now decided yes to move on. Have wasted far too much emotional energy on him. I wont be contacting him Rupert as you said, there is nothing worst than being chased by an ex.

Thanks Ruby for your offer of the ebook. But maybe reading that, will make me want to bother. And I dont now.

Kazzianne, No, there is no way we will get back together.

Thankyou all for your help. I was feeling really down last night when I sent this post. But yesterday ended last night, and today is a new day, and a new start. Fingers crossed xx

[willowhobson]

My last relationship ended last summer (ages ago, I know) and I still have the odd bad day (not so bad anymore though). I was in a similar position to you, because although my daughter was 16 at the time, I just didn't have the funds to go out and fill my time with distractions.

I found that viewing each day as a new challenge...then congratulating myself if I'd managed to reach the end without making contact helped me to get through... as did persuading my daughter to do things with me and having friends to visit (although I found that I had less friends by the end of the relationship than I'd had at the start, so a valuable lesson there). I also decided to just let myself feel miserable sometimes, instead of trying to be brave and deal with it!

Glad that you're feeling better today and it is true (as you already know) it will get better and better as time goes by.

[I-say]

Willowhobson, thankyou. I hope you too are feeling OK now. I do wake up and think about him, but then in a second, I blot it out, and get on with whatever else I have to do. Also kept a diary, so hopefully, in a few months I can look back and think how pathetic I was!

Good luck to you xx