Stuck...

[janed0e]

I am stuck in a situation which is slowly driving me insane. I am not suicidal as such, yet I think about it all the time. The best way I can describe it is that I am really disillusioned, angry, lost, frustrated.

Others looking on my situation would probably laugh, call me selfish and think I have nothing to complain about and loads to be thankful for. They would probably be right. But I just can't deal with it anymore. I'm so scared of my thoughts. I can literally feel myself going crazy, yet I have never been more rational.

I have seen a doctor. I'm not suffering from depression. Even the psychiatrist who interviewed me was surprised to find how much 'with it' I was. He said since my condition was due to my living circumstances and wasn't a depressive illness there was nothing they could really do.

There is nothing anyone can really do. It is all up to me, and the weight of this responsibility is killing me.

How do you accept your life as it is and not want to be somewhere else? How can you stop your frustrations spilling out because there is no more space for them inside? And if you can't, how can you be a mother and be confronted with choices all of which spell out hurt for the loved ones..?

[Minxie]

Sorry to keep on, but how is he playing your daughter against you. She is living with you, so surely you have the upper hand. If he has moved on his in life with someone else?

[Ward-Minter]

why are you using two names?????

Yes I am in counselling work to a degree.

Your humour at the end does sum it up nicely. 2 grand??? Yes, I know to some it is a life line, a lot of money. But 2 lousey grand is not worth getting your knickers in a twist is it?

So money is a problem. What do I say. Deal with it. There is a welfare system, you won't starve. There will just have to be a lot of cutbacks.

So yes, EVERYTHING is black and white unless you go looking for the grey areas.

[Minxie]

Doesnt matter if you used another name. Ward Minter, I do think you are being very bit hard. I thought ABers were surposed to be helpful?

[JustSia]

W-M, I have explained about the name.

Minxie, that's what I and everyone who knows me want to know. The way I see it is he lied to his lass when they started going out and is trying hard to keep the game going. Instead I get his lass irate on the phone at the slightest sign of a disagreement. He teaches my daughter silly poems about me, calls me names infront of her. Tells her how I am bad for not letting her live with him dispite the fact that he never asks for her on holidays. He droped the custody case and asked for sat/sun visitation. Now he is telling everyone how he asked for more yet I refused him. Loads of things most are pretty small but they all add up.

[Minxie]

He sounds like a right p***k. Jealous because your little girl lives with you. I think you are a saint letting him even see your daughter. I woudnt.

I have to get to bed now, as I have 4 kids to get ready for school runs! But you are doing a great job. Being a mum is a major achievement.

Wake up tomorrow and think of one good thing you are going to do today. Sit down and make another list. My house is full of them. I can sympathise with you on so many points. Night night, take care and keep in touch xx

[JustSia]

Thanks Minxie.

Good night. Am offski to bedski myself. Thou don't think will get much sleep, a friend of mine is in labour. And the cycle repeats itself, lol.

S.

[Ward-Minter]

minxie, here i sit without a problem in the world. Yes, bully for me you may say, but surely my advice is therefore excellent.

As Freud didn't say "the worse thing you can do is share your problems with people with problems"

Mmmmmmmm, the average person could probably name one clinical psychologist, that being Raj Persaud. I think he coined "get a grip therapy" didn't he?

So helpful or not, when I follow the lines of somebody who is good enough to be on Trisha (irony) I must be reading something right.

PS If you examine the time I posted my last answer, I wouldn't have known about your explanation of a different name would I?

therefore, "look outside the box" before making a statement. Anothe therapy called post-incident recognitive manipulation does exactly that. But it's 00.42hrs and I will fluff the theory up!

[JustSia]

W-M, evolution theory would collapse based on your principles. But I suppose if your life works that way than good for you.

BTW, just coz my life sucks at the mo, doesn't mean I can't have a sense of humour and laugh at it. And on this note may I suggest that if you are in something like counselling than you should pay more attention to what people say. I asked for a few grand, not just 2.

Good nite for now.

[kazzianne]

Jane - I read your question and replies in the middle of the night,as I couldnt sleep,and I really feel for you.I have been in a similar situation - not ever felt suicidal,but financial mess with no family to help.If you want to email me for a chat then you are more than welcome - [email protected]

[Ward-Minter]

Mmmmmm, I am not a Darwinist nor a philosopher, yet I fail to see how exactly evolution theory would collapse under my ideals.

Surely, the "survival of the fittest" idiom is the basis of such ideas.

Mmmmmm, I stay fit in mind and body--- I survive. Confusing.

Further, a few usually means about two. If not, certainly a small number. Therefore 4 grand. not a big deal is it?

Now you are either quite humourous OR take delight in nit picking and finding fault in replies. I hope the former, if not your life deserves to suck. If you are going to patronise me saying I don't listen, then fine. But remember my life is good, in fact very good, and yours should be too. but is it isn't, is it?

[Ward-Minter]

If you want health advice, would you seek information from a smoking, overweight alcoholic with boils or would you ask a healthy, glowing slim person who exercises.

If you want mechanical advice, do you ask a mechanic or somebody who drives a banger in which he always calls out the AA

If you want advice on the Islamic faith do you ask an Iman or a rabbi????

I rest my case..............................

[dancealot13]

Wardminter- 4 grand is enough for most people to get cought up with bills and rent,..so It may not be much money to you but it is to others. Just to point out....
Freud also believed that all forms of depression and anxiety stem from a poor sex life. So I wouldnt' put all your eggs in one basket.

[Ward-Minter]

dancealot if you actually read my posts, I fail to see what point you are making?

Yes 4 grand is a lot of money. 4 hundred quid is a lot of money to some folk, but it isn't worth crying over.

Secondly Freud was/is a joke. My quote clearly said As Freud DIDN'T say.I believe he quote is from The Jeremy Kyle Show. (Sarcasm, foy your info!) Read before you reply sweetheart. X

[JustSia]

Unfortunately, I have very little interest in day time TV so couldn�t possibly comment on Trisha or Jeremy.

I did not ask for answers to my problems neither did I say I was in financial trouble. Yes, like everyone else I would not say no to extra money and would easily find some use to it, but I am not in trouble. Although I claim benefits now, I have only done so for the last year. I have never had a debt in my life. And I have managed to put myself through the university without borrowing a single penny.

As to whom I ask for advice (if I needed one), well, I think that is for me to decide. I have asked specific questions, the ones that could only be answered by people who went or are going through the similar thing. A person who never had a drink would not know anything about alcoholism. I would not take any advice on how to raise my own kid from a person who hasn�t raised any of their own. And I certainly won�t get into an argument about psychology with a person who can reduce all studies of Freud to a joke or discuss evolution with someone who thinks that Darwin�s theory (and I am talking about his original theory) rests upon the �survival of the fittest� concept.

I appreciate your enthusiasm and dedication to your beliefs, but in that you seem to have become ignorant of the whole other world outside as well as other people�s points of view and their right to express them just like you do. You seem to let your pride do the talking and to be honest with you it is not the kind of conversation I am willing to have.

S.

[Ward-Minter]

Well I am aware that "the survival of the fittest" concept was actually coined by Herbert Spencer looking at fiscal survival in an ever changing world. And I swear on my childrens eyes that I didn'y google that. But obvioulsy your GCCE pyschology far out sizes any formal qualification I have obtained, so I won't comment.

janedOe, without being harsh, try being a bit nicer and less argumentative and then, and only then life may seem a little more appetizing.

One makes their own beds in this world (well my cleaner does actually, but you don't wish to hear how well my life is). I wish you all the best and whatever your "issues" are, I am confident that you will seek solutions to overcome them.

Take care chicken. X

[dancealot13]

Ward-Minter, You come across as a simpleton. I find your rambling on and on insensitive, rude, and quite ignorant. This women is sharing very intimate facts, and the only thing that comes out of your mourth is 'suck it up, or give up'. Your so called 'words of wisdom' is a load of crap. And to add, that comment obout your 'cleaner'.....lol makes me pity you.