boyfriend situation-new development, im so hurt.

[SizzleSquid]

he went mad at me last night, said i don't listen to him, because i took a call in his flat, and that im childish (because i like going out, having fun, doing stuff instead of being boring and sitting on the couch) he has only allowed me to see him once a week for 7 years on the same night and time, im not allowed to wear a skirt (even though its summer) even a long skirt, im not allowed to make or recieve calls from his house just to update.

He made me cry so much last night i thought i was going too collapse, after 7 years you would cry wouldn't you? Guess what? He told me to get it together! and to be quiet. Im so upset. He said he'd give me one more chance based that i listen to him, dont use phone, wear skirt and give good conversation. Im so upset. I really love him, but i feel hard done by.

[fayelc123]

Why can u only see him one night a week??

& why would you let someone treat you like that for so long!? Please leave him, you can do so much better & have a normal relationship with someone nice!!! I don't want to upset you even more but it's obvious that he doesn't really care about you. You must have realised this yourself!?

I hope you come to your senses soon. x

[robbo82]

I have to agree with everyone's comments, I don't understand why you put with it. I know it must be difficult to leave after seven years, but you have to be strong. He doesn't deserve anyone from the sounds of it, just leave him to his squalor and anger. There's so many nice guys out there (I could introduce you to some if you want!), go out there and make the most of life, or you'll live to regret it in later years.

[Miss Zippy]

I'm genuinely intrigued - what has led you to stay in a relationship with this man for so long?

[noxlumos]

Write him a letter to avoid this control freak having the abilty to push your buttons, ( because he'll have created them to push whenever he wants to, like saying that he'll give you, whose done nothing wrong, another chance).

Tell him in this letter that you don't require another chance, as you've done nothing wrong, that you consider his behaviour abnormal and not tolerable by a normal preson and that you'd prefer not to have any more contact with him.

Then go and rediscover what you really enjoy and know that in the fullness of time someone will come along and treat you in the way that you really deserve.

I know it's a hard thing to end it, but you can't go on like this.Good luck to you.

[flipflop104]

D/S is Dom/Sub relationship - I think that's what Purpose was meaning anyway.

[flipflop104]

Oh and btw, D/S relationships have LOVE in them (as far as I know - I'm no expert on any of this) - 2 people who are in D/S relationship have LOVE and RESPECT and CONSIDERATION.

They are not abusive relationships like the one described in SizzleSquid's original post (and yes, I do think it is an abusive relationship)

[raysparx]

Nothing wrong with finger bery, I can only use one finger to type,sad or what!!

[JackDanielsU]

not being horrid..

but you have seen him Once a week, always that same day and time. Im sorry but he is just using you...he could be doing anything on those other days that he doesnt want you to know about.

It may be hard for a while, but I think you need to tell this sad excuse for a man to **** off.

Hed give you one more chance???? How kind of him, what a prat, he obviously has no respect.

There is someone out there who will treat you like you should be, respect, and kindness. I hope u find that person, after 7 years of it going one way from you, I think you deserve it

[purpose]

Indeed. You're right. D/s is a Dom/sub relationship and they DO have a huge amount of love, trust and affection in them. Bucket loads, actually.

I wasn't suggesting that this sounded like one of those... because it REALLY doesn't (believe me) but i have met people (always men) who genuinely believe that the only way for them to have a relationship is to 'play' at being dominant.

This guy sounds like quite a few men i have known of who choose to treat their partners appallingly - believing that their partners are WILLING participants. Basically they are bullies - it's as simple as that.

'Proper' D/s relationships have 2 (or more) people in them who are VERY happy with the way things are - even if to outsiders things seem a little weird!

I believe this man is abusive and there is no way you can ever change him. You CLEARLY are not happy with him so i think we are all suggesting that you make a fresh start with someone who will treat you as you wish to be treated.

Best of luck :0)

[beryllium]

lol... Ray!!! 'tsalright, other hand to hold up cup or glass i say... ;-)

[BeFrank]

Are you kidding me?

Leave him girl, there are plenty of other guys out there who would give you the sort of love you are looking for. I once thought true love was dead - then i met my partner and all is great.

If you need some insperation (or just need to be convinced about true love) then i suggest you go to the grey box marked search the site and type in myles76 - and read all his stuff entitled "Engagement ring" and "i popped the question" - it's enough to make anyone stop and think about they way they treat their loved ones and we can all do and be better.

Chin up girl. Get some cuurrage and go find Mr. Right for you (because it's certainly not the guy your with!!)

_ oh yea, i really think a spell check should be put on AB!!!!!!

[caz21]

Hi Sizzle! If you only see him one night a week although you have been together 7 years it only works out to one year in actual days! leave him hunny! you will be so much happier! he doesnt deserve you! if he is comparing you to some woman at work he obviously doesnt care and is trying to bully you! what do you think about his relationship with her? i'd be extremely annoyed if any one was always texting my fella!

Be strong! x

[tinkertontom]

end it and live life without such a control freak

good luck

[electricblue]

If he wants to control something get him a dog and leave with a clear conscience,you cant do any worse,so its onwards and upwards from here on in,but you know what sizzlesquid?I'll put money on the fact that HE will be the one to fall apart if you leave him,its HIM who needs YOU,not the other way round!!

[Amara]

I agree with the sentiments of everyone else on this post, it would appear that this relationship is not healthy and this person has some control issues. Sizzlesquid, I know it is very difficult to leave someone you have been with for this long, what tends to happen is that your self respect, self esteem and confidence disintegrates and this is shown by your reaction last night. It is very easy for people to say dump him immediately, but unless you have experienced this first hand you cannot really understand. I think it shocks people who do not behave in that way and they are right you need to find the courage and strength to end this relationship. I promise that if you do you will never look back, you will regain your self esteem and you will never allow this behaviour in your life again. It will be hard to make the break initially, but take it one day at a time and you will be fine. Reclaim your power from this individual and become the goddess you truly are - Bright blessings - Amara xx

[SizzleSquid]

I do @ champagne..but its difficult giving your heart to someone else when your with someone, will feel so guilty, but maybe i should, and see how things go?

[raysparx]

sizzle,I wish I could reach through this screen and hug you,you are making me sad,your so called boyfriend is neither a friend or a man,have serious think please,

Take care, Ray xx

[Aprilis]

Listen to what EVERYONE is telling you Sizzle. You had similar posts on your other thread. We can't ALL be wrong honey! Ask yourself honestly how you are benefitting from this one-sided relationship ...you aren't, he's using you. Personally I can't see what there is to love about him and I'm sure most others would agree. Drop this dead-beat, bully-boy, @rseh*le and get yourself a decent fella. You already live 313 days a year without him and for the other 52 you are allowing him to treat you with contempt when you don't deserve it. Noxlumos had a good idea...write him a letter...then he can't argue the toss with you, push your buttons and make you feel like it's your fault. Come to your senses honey and realise that you are worth so much more than this. We are all behind you and are here for support when you need it.

[~Wingnut~]

What's to feel so guilty about Sizzle? that you meet someone who resepcts you and doesn't control you? That love's you and wants to be with you 7 days aweek not just the 1? That will let you be the person you want to be, wear a skirt, use your mobile? Believe me if you meet someone else and realise what a true realtionship is about the guilt will soon disappear! You'd give up the possiblity of all that because you may feel guilty? You have **** all to feel guilty about! He's the one that should feel any guilt by the way he treats you, sadly I doubt he ever will....

[Scarlett]

Oh God- get rid of him! He is a conrtol freak who wants a mousey little woman in a tweed suit to make him coffee and talk politics. DUMP HIM. You have already wasted too much time on him.