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Obsessed 13 year old......
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For more on marking an answer as the "Best Answer", please visit our FAQ.I feel your friend needs to give this family a very wide berth for a while for his own personal protection as he could find himself in a very vulnerable situation if this young girl started making false accusations about him. It's unfortunate that they have been good to him in the past but if she's already self harming, the situation may get completely out of hand if he continues to have contact. I suggest he installs an answerphone and monitors all incoming calls before he takes them. I recommend he also has a quiet word with his local police so that if any false accusations are made, he has made his point first. He could also try writing to the parents (keeping a copy of the letter) saying that the situation has reached a point, where for the sake of all concerned, he has decided to stay away as he feels his continued visiting is not allowing their daughter to get over her crush in a natural manner and that her behaviour towards him is making him feel uncomfortable when he visits. He should also suggest to her parents that their daughter should see her GP to discover what is at the root of her self-harming.
Dreadful situation for him. He needs to safeguard himself both legally and also physically, so I think the best possible course of action is to re-iterate the point with the girls's parents, tell them how much he values them as friends but that for a while at least he's not going to be around, then if possible, move.
Could be this is just a huge attack of galloping hormones with the girl, but sounds much more serious to me and I'm of the opinion that the whole family seem to have lost the plot in making this very extreme behaviour seem normal to her. If it was my daughter there is no way I would call him to calm her down if she self harmed, as that's merely reinforcing her idea that if she does that she can have whatever she likes.I'm afraid that part of parenting is that you never know what your going to get and it's not always like the Waltons, kids get unruly and difficult and it's your job as a parent to deal with that. They seem to have lost sight of that somewhere, so he needs to give them the space to realise that's the deal and hopefully it'll all go away as the girl matures and finds herself soemone who is interested in her and is able to have a relationship with her. She sounds lonely and unhappy to me and is filling these voids with an obsession with someone who was probably once very nice to her.Her parents need to address her other problems to find out why she feels the need to do this, poor girl.
BUT, as others have said he is making the situation worse by still visiting as the only way to stop this is to avoid her, she needs to see that self harming does no longer mean your friend comes running, next time it happens it might be best for your friend to say something polite like i'm sorry i cannot come round tonight i'm busy with..... maybe you should try calling the doctor if she wont stop. i hope she is ok. goodbye! and dont ever go when they call for this reason, as it is rewarding her the minute he goes!
Sounds like it has gone way beyond a crush and should be nipped in the bud ASAP for everyones sakes!
By going to see her to calm her down he is clearly feeding her addiction! This girl needs serious help. If I was him I would go and see the mum and dad again and tell them just how much its getting to him and I would say that the next time she shows up and starts going crazy, he will simply call the police and let them deal with her. He really does need to put a stop to this before it goes even further! For her to say she will kill the baby is shocking and this girl needs help beyond what any family member or friend can offer her. I really do feel sorry for your friend as he is in one awkward position. I don't have much advice to offer but I hope he gets it sorted as soon as possible.
Maybe he could set her up with an account on AB and we could all tell her just how nuts she is being!
they may have been good to him in the past but it sounds like the sort of good that involves them not having to actually do anything for him that would put them out at all.
it is not his responsibility to deal with this child and the more he goes along with it the happier they will be to take the pressure off them.
he needs to steer well clear - these people are not good people and they need to be forced to confront the sitiuation.
tell him to prune the deadwood from his life
My advice is to get your friend outa there and get him and his girlfiend to keep and eye out.
I would also get your friend to take the advice on th previous post and get him to alert the police of the sitation as she could try and pull blackmail on him.