Love Online - Advice?

[Damsel]

If you were friends with someone you met online for the last six years, and you had been through A LOT together...and suddenly you realized you loved the person and told them that...and the person tells you they love you, too...but you constantly question it, and still the person states they love you, too...and then suddenly, for no reason and out of the blue, the person tells you that they don't love you, not the way you love them...how would you react to this? I should mention that this man lives across the country from me (we had plans to meet) and there is quite an age difference...he is 52 and I am only 25. But the age did not matter to me. I am just really hurt that he would lead me on...even when I tried to just go back to computer buddies he said that was not what he wanted. Other things have happened, and I have left out a lot of details, but this is the core situation here. Why would someone do that?

[Rubyrose]

Hey Damsel hunny. I know the situation and have given you advice before. I shall sit here and wait for some answers with you.

By the way.. welcome to AB. :o)

xxxxx

[Aliceband]

hi Damsel, you have been friends with him for 6 years and you have never met before? Can I ask why you havent met in all this time?

[Aliceband]

Not hijaking your post Damsel, but Ruby, was reading your posts earlier. Did you manage to get the mobile phone number?

[jamwan55]

could be hundreds of reasons why.. but the fact that he lives across the country and not across your street means that you may never find out.

also, he may have been using you as an escape from real life.. having fun and chatting to you on the net would have been a lot more enjoyable than his normal humdrum life, so by repeatedly saying that he loves you would have kept his "fantasy" alive..

[Rubyrose]

Hey Aliceband,

No I didn't! My ex said he couldn't get it! Hmmmm.. we shall see. I will just have to find a different way but I am out on Friday night so hopefully I will see the guy out anyway. xx

[Blyss]

It also could be he has a wife , kids , grankids ect, and he never told you .
It could be also his words of sympathy and enkouragment{sp} you have taken as words of maybe "love"
If You have been speaking to this man for so long ,, have you shared details like ...wife ..pets ..kids ..footsize, grandkids .pets ..job ,, left or right way you dress ,, all very personal I know but in the long run at leats with asking you would know here u stood.
If there has been a lot of fone calls and maybe sorry to say personal speaking , then yea hes lead you on .
If not im sorry to say ...you should have asked the questions before falling for him .

good luck next time thou!!

[Aliceband]

sorry again Damsel...........ruby, me thinks your ex was being awkward...but good on you, it shows him you have moved on. Good luck tomorrow xx

[Aliceband]

yes Damsel, .. have to agree with Blyss.

Its too easy to create this fantasy relationship online. You think you know someone just by what they type on a screen. How much of it is the truth?

You are so young too. Get out and meet people xx

[Damsel]

Thanks RubyRose :) Aliceband, the reason we have not met...well there are a few reasons. For the first few years, we were just chat buddies and it never really occured to me that we would ever meet. And I had a few relationships... I had brought up us meeting in the past, and he seemed to not take me seriously... But with the new love and all, I was being serious about meeting and he said if I sent him plane tickets, he would use them. I even asked him over the phone, and he seemed serious about it. We had plans to meet in September, but he was going to come here. There is no way I'd go visit him in the stupid state he lives in. jamwan55, I think there is a lot of truth to that...maybe it was all just a "fantasy" for him that became too real when I mentioned us meeting sooner. His Birthday is next month and I asked him if he would like to meet sooner (I was going to surprise him with plane tickets) and when I mentioned meeting sooner he made an excuse, saying it was too expensive. Blyss, I thought about that too. But we have talked for so long, I really don't think he is married. We just recently had started talking on the phone more. I honestly think this man prefers to be alone, never in a relationship. I am not "in love" with him, and live miles away from him, yet he still trashed everything. I am just amazed... Oh, and our friendship was very personal. We were best friends. It is all gone now. :(