The L word

[caz21]

I posted a while back saying i was going to find the right time to tell my boyfriend i love him, anyway on saturday night we went out got rather tipsy and had a great night, we got back to his and went to bed and were chatting and being silly anyway i decided to tell him! he had his back to me and i said i love you, and he didnt reply, i said it again thinking he might not have heard me and he still ignored me! so i left it and rolled over and went to sleep! i'm really quite upset about it we've been together for nearly 9 months and i've been in love with him for 3 years! i dont feel like i can tell him again and i dont know what to do! i feel really stupid and embarrased!

[Champagne]

Don't be embarrassed caz. It's silly to keep it bottled up if you love someone, even more so if you are in a relationship. Are you sure he hadn't fallen asleep?

Just don't say it again until you know for sure that he feels the same way.

[caz21]

I doubt he was i'd only just finished telling him how i felt about him when i first met him, which is why i thought it would be a good time to tell him! It just makes me think he doesnt feel the same and so maybe i'm better off without him although that would break my heart as he is all i want! why does one person always feel more for someone why cant it be equal!

[jenky]

To be fair - did you love him the instant you met him, or did it take a little while?
There's no guarantee that both people arrive at this stage at the same time in a relationship. If he was still there in the morning it can't have scared him that much!

[Octavius]

He might have been embarassed himself and didn't know how to react. The best advice I can give you is to talk to him about it

[fleckboy]

sorry to say this as a bloke, but i know many friends of mine and their all said the same as me when we have been talking about the love word. it means nothing, 15yrs ago maybe but now ppl seem to say it in ways they dont really mean it. i mean what is love? it can be almost anything. i have a partner which ive been with for seven yrs and we dont use the l-word as we express ourselves to each other in other ways. personally i would sit down with him and try to tell him how you feel within (but without the love word) but hey thats just my opinion everyone is different.

[caz21]

No! I fell in love with him straight away, but the circumstances meant we only got together 9 months ago, i know it takes different lengths of time but 9 months seems a bit excessive to me! like, if he doesnt now he never will and i dont want that!

Thanks fleckboy but i do really mean it, more than anything!

I will try talking to him again but your right i wont use the l word for now!

[caz21]

... and Jenky, it was his house so he had no choice! ;o)

[nat_84]

I reckon it was kinda horrible of him to just not say anything and ignore you... blokes eh?!

But he obviously didnt see it coming. There's no need to hide your feelings away. Now he knows what you feel for him, it's just a matter of giving him time and you cant expect the same response immediately.

Hope it all pans out well.

[caz21]

No, i agree i dont think i would have wanted him to say it back else i might have been thinking he's only saying it coz i did! (poor guy, can't win! ;o)) but i couldnt wait any longer and now i wished i hadnt! its the ignoring me that hurt! MEN!!

[Veggibear]

Don't worry about it too much, if you were drunk he might have thought it was just the booze talking.

You haven't said if you think he loves you - believe me you KNOW if someone loves you. Do you feel loved? if you do then surely that's the main thing and you're putting too much importance (and pressure) on him saying the words - like he's got to prove it.

I would forget about it for now and wait (patiently!) for him to say it.

[caz21]

No we hadnt Zac!!

I havent put any pressure on him to say anything, he hasn't got to prove anything either but i'm sure most people would agree when i say its nice to have someone to tell you they love you! (and mean it)

I know he cares but i don't know his true feelings which is why it has upset me because ignoring me kind of leads me to believe he doesnt! if you know what i mean!

Thanks for all your answers though!

[dancealot13]

caz- Does he seem like the kind of guy to just completely ignore something like that? Or do you think it's really possible that he fell asleep? I mean there are a million and one ways to handle the 'I love you' situation. He could have just tickled you and kissed and then not say anything, but he didn't even roll over to look at you? He was probably asleep.

If you want to know how he really feels about you...then ask him. If you need to know where this is going so you don't feel like you are waisting your time..then do it. You can do that without saying I love you, though. Many men do get scared by that.

And I couldn't agree with you more. It's sad that so often, people do not feel equal love for oneanother. Love can be so heartbreaking.