is it rape?

[sleepyhead]

a few days ago me and some of my friends went out to celebrate end of exams. we had a lot to drink and met up with some guys my mate knew. my friend was drunk and went off with one of the guys and basically did him. we realised that she was gone but by the time we found them they'd already done it. she's 16 so it's legal but i think he was taking complete advantage. he didn't have anything to drink and had a girlfriend. i was telling him off but he kept insisting they had only kissed and kept saying 'you believe me right?'. it wasn't until we got home that my friend admitted sleeping with him. at the time she said that she regretted it, but now she's saying she doesn't really, although i know she does. this guy is a sleaze. she says she said yes but she wasn't in the right frame of mind to make that decision. what do i do? is this taking advantage? is this rape? please help.

[country_boy]

Hmm, you say "she did him", she admitted to sleeping with him, says she regretted it, then she says she doesn't. You don't say that she sounds particularly upset or that it was some kind of ordeal. I think you've got a bigger issue with it than she does, calling him a sleaze etc. He sounds defensive more out of worry that his girlfriend will find out and he can say it's just a kiss. If she didn't consent then yes it is rape, did she ask him to stop at any point and he carried on? She'll know if it is rape or not, what should you do? Let her decide. If you had found them afterwards and they were still together it doesn't exactly sound like rape to me.

[sexyrussian]

Your friend has only herself to blame.She needs to learn her lesson.No it is NOT rape.

[country_boy]

WM - Not sure inebriation makes a difference in the eyes of the law, at least for prosecution for crimes like assault. So would it if someone had said yes to sex and then decided well after the event that they made a mistake because they were drunk? I can't see how that could apply either.

[~Wingnut~]

Hi

Just want to say please make sure your friend had safe sex, if not she needs to seek medical advice. Don't let her fob you off that she did, as she may just say this to get you off her back. She needs to realise the consequences of her actions and to be more careful in the future.
Please try to not let it affect you and your approach to sex and relationships, you sound a very level headed girl who has genuine concern for your friends. I just hope you all learn from it.

Take care :o)

[country_boy]

Thanks WM - I was just about to ask about sections 75/76 - I guessed that something must have been applicable with the effects of alcohol, as consent on date rape drugs is not true consent. In this case A is sober, I guess if he was drunk then his ability to ascertain acceptance would be different. As I said earlier, her friend would know if it was rape, so I guess would have a leg to stand on technically if she believed it was, but probably wouldn't get anywhere legally!

[Pippa68]

In which case I have been raped quite a few times..and as WM has pointed out, most men would be considered rapists.

[country_boy]

Does it work the other way then? ie. drunk bloke, sober woman, bloke doesn't really want to but under the influence

[Pippa68]

Apparently a woman can not rape a man..I will let Wardy explain!

[country_boy]

I know where you're coming from but what if the man was spiked with viagra?

[sexyrussian]

Your friend would have practically NO chance in the court of law.How can she prove it was not consensual?If she was drunk she would not be able to remember the event.Also it was NOT rape if a woman is so drunk that she has no idea what she was doing she has no right to complain if a man takes advantage of her.

[sexyrussian]

Yes I am me now.That was my Daddy earlier.STUPID!!!But thank you for the compliment.

[country_boy]

Surely there must be at least one case in history, does it have a different name?

[Pippa68]

I would assume it would be sexual assault..

[Pippa68]

WM is far from stupid, so you are wrong on both counts ;o)