Breaking up and being ALONE.

[Goodsoulette]

Have any of you contemplated breaking up with someone and not done it because of the fear that noone else will ever want you? That you will just be sat on the shelf forever. Particularly interested to hear from those who have young children and are single, even if it is that guys just runaway as soon as they find out you are a single parent.

[peterd]

no

[dot.hawkes]

Goodsoulette, lets not have a self-defeatist attitude, trust me, men are more frightened of not having a mate and kids than women, you have a million and one talents to offer the world, let the guy slot into your life and you be the best u can.

[kick3m0n]

goodsoulette babes, been in the self same position. Ultimately, the fear of being alone became less important than the need for my child to have a happy mum, and the situ I was in was not a happy one. It is a scary prospect - i hadn't been single for 12 years let alone with a toddler to look after but surround yourself with great friends and a support network, and do what you feel is right, deep down inside. As for what lies ahead shelf-wise (lol), I wasn't even looking, but found someone more special than I thought possible. And you will too. good guys just don't run away at the mention of children, only ones worth not holding on to do that. all the best

[ermintrude35]

....I took the leap of faith...and have never been happier....

[noxlumos]

Hello Goodsoulette, you've nothing to worry about whatsoever. The second Mrs Nox had a son when I married her and it didn't make a blind bit of difference to me. If a man loves you he'll also love your kids, if he doesn't accept your kids as his own then he's a tosser and you're best off without him. None of my friends would care if a woman had children , so relax and wait for him to come along:)

[Pippa68]

Very good advice here. When me & Mr Pippa number 1 went our separate ways I was terrified of not finding someone who would want 'soiled goods' (the way I felt at the time!). As time grew I realised that this was my main worry as I had 2 children aged 4 & 2...and the only reason I had stayed married was because of them.

I met up with Mr Pippa number 2 and it wasn't a problem..ok, so he had a child himself which was easier but we both still had reservations and wondered if the relationship would work. It did, it has and we had two little kiddies together too :o)

Nox is right...the right bloke won't care about your past or present.

Sorry if this is a bit garbled ~ I am a bit sauced!

[Blyss]

well , I had 4 kids , and I have plenty of money ..nice home , top grade car , everything I shoulda wanted really.
My thought that calling me a fat slut everyday was ok and I felt that at the age of 60 I dont wnat to be living like this anymore .
So I took the leap as well and alothough I have to admit its not been easy , I did meet a man who took on me and all my kids and moved 3000 odd miles from the US to be with me , and now i couldnt be happier , plus now Im fatter !! lol
When my x and i split I didnt do it becuase i felt there was somone out there who would treat me better , I just knew I deserved to have better , and if better was being alone , it was all good .
If your not happy my love , do somthin about it.

[Blyss]

well , I had 4 kids , and I have plenty of money ..nice home , top grade car , everything I shoulda wanted really.
My x thought that calling me a fat slut everyday was ok and I felt that at the age of 60 I dont wnat to be living like this anymore .even though i am nowhere that age.
So I took the leap as well and although I have to admit its not been easy , I did meet a man who took on me and all my kids and moved 3000 odd miles from the US to be with me , and now i couldnt be happier , plus now Im fatter !! lol
When my x and i split I didnt do it becuase i felt there was somone out there who would treat me better , I just knew I deserved to have better , and if better was being alone , it was all good .
If your not happy my love , do somthin about it.

[lia*]

you have gotten all good advice so waste no more time and do what you have to do.

[~posy-jo~]

i know lots of people who have done it hun and have been single mums. they have never had any problems with finding new partners. u sound lovely so i'm sure u will to. u need to do what is best for u and your children. i wish u lots of love and happiness xXx

p.s saw on the other thread u might be moving to yeovil soon. lots of forces men around here!!!!!! mmmm yummy xXx

[raysparx]

Hi Goods,

Speaking from a mans side,why should it put someone off just because of children? if it does they are very shallow and not worth being with anyway,

The main thing in life is Happiness,if you aren't happy then leave as the other ladies have said, it far better to be on your own and content,someone,someday will come along and cherish your love,you have allways come across to me as a loving and caring person,so believe in yourself,and be happy,

Take care, Ray xx

[Goodsoulette]

Thanks for the answers. Something to think on I suppose. Im not sat here all miserable though.