help

[lucy @murray]

I am 36 and have no sex drive.
I have two children 11 year old aspergus syndrome son and a 3 year old daughter.
I have been with my arner for 7 years although we don't live togeather.
we are due to get marriefd next year but sex is not happening.
I have no interest in sex at all. my sex drive has never been very high but I need some help,
help me please
lucy

[dot.hawkes]

just think about what is out there, think yourself lucky you are not looking and have a good man, tell him u need a long slow conversation with him.

[Metz]

Maybe try "courting" each other again,go out and meet up somewhere,get to know each other again . Try different things in bed.. get a toy or try massaging each other? Hope this helps :o)

[noxlumos]

Before you talk to your partner ask yourself what would really turn you on, what do you enjoy, what are you worried about with sex and get some things clear in your own mind. Tell him that you're tired and you think your sex drive is suffering and suggest alternate evenings or a time when you can fulfil each other's fantasies. Ask him in detail about his and then try to make it come true for him. Then it's his turn to make it happen for you. Pick a time when things are relaxed and you won't have distractions and interruptions if possible and make both occasions special for both of you. Just take everything slow and steady and enjoy yourself, keep it warm and loving and really indulge yourself and hopefully if it;s a really good expereince then your sex drive might pick uip a little. Make sure though that your partner is 100% sure that it's not his fault that you feel this way at present or it could have a negative effect and hurt his self esteem.

[Lonnie]

noxlumos's post is, as usual, a very good and wise one, however, i'd just like to add a few things.

My daughter is Autistic, and as such, I have had some experience with Aspergers sufferers also, and know how much hard work they can be, can you talk to your Social Worker?, because it just possible that this could be caused by the stress and worry of looking after him, and they may be able to qualify you for some respite care, and if your already getting some, a few days more.

The thing is, if your son can go into respite for a few days, and you get someone, (family etc) to look after your daughter, you and your partner can go away and totally relax for a few days.
But you do need to talk to someone as well as you partner about this.

I really wish you, your children, and your partner all the best for the future.

[johnfrater]

its all about you, and your probs stand back and see where hes coming from,he's not stone.he's trying ,your looking for desperate answers from strangers

[CLOWN TICKLE]

First I am not surprised given your circumstances and I think the replies have been good, massage is great, consider testosterone from GP

[shazzzz]

Including zinc in your diet, if not naturally through sunflower seeds etc, then as a supplement should help. If the zinc don't help, get a better looking partner!

[lucy @murray]

Well I took all your comments and advice onboard, tried afew of them and the end result is I am now single and we are both much happier.
thanksfor all the help

[robbo82]

Hi Lucy, I'm sorry to hear that it didn't work out. I hope you're doing ok.