my heart goes out to you squirtle,i know exactly how you feel but as hijinx says learn to love yourself for who you are,as for getting depressed seeing nice clothes...........well,whats stopping you from buying them in a big size?! bigger women look just as beautifull in nice clothes as anyone else!
over the last ten years i have battled bullimia,anorexia and now what im described as is "obese"...such an awful word! ive gone from a 6stone frail waiflike anorexic to a 19 stone big beautifull woman,im much happier now than i ever have been because ive accepted myself the way i am and the way im meant to be............................ok 19st is a bit too much but im working at getting a couple of stone off,but in no way do i want to be anything under a size 16.
squirtle you must learn to love yourself the way you are,please do not feel ashamed...whats so awful about you?!
if you feel you need to see the doc then go,they are there to help you,and have given me much good advice over the years,
good luck and most importantly...keep smiling!!!
nik.xxxx