Keeping some of the ashes

[bluedolphin]

What do people do with the ashes of their loved ones? I've seen them scattered on TV progs etc but in reality do they scatter them all or keep some and if so how and where in general.

[brawburd]

I visited a Glasgow crematorium as part of my work (don't ask!) and in the cremator room there were probably fifty jars of ashes, most of which had been there for a while without collection. They keep them a month then get in touch with the funeral director to see if the next-of-kin wants them. If not, they are scattered in the Garden of Remembrance. The containers which had been there for much longer belonged to deceased where there was no next of kin, and they were kept for a much longer period in case someone turned up to make a claim. The place was VERY dusty! On a personal basis most people I know have used the Garden of Remembrance, either scattering ashes or burying urn, and some have scattered ashes over the graves of other loved ones. My friend cremated her dog about 10 years ago and his urn full of ashes sits on her lounge unit; she does not however have any family members on display!!

[Cathy]

When my cousin died his widow kept his ashes. She would put them on the dinner table when the family were having a meal and put them in the children's bedroom when they went to bed. Apparently she even took them out with her when she went shopping and believed that he was going to let her know the winning lottery numbers.

[fraserjim]

I heard you can have them crushed into a diamond an wear your loved ones in a ring !

[Ewood27]

My local crematorium has another option. Besides scattering the ashes or taking them away, you can rent a 'little house' in a section of the grounds. These look almost like miniature terraced houses with the front closed off with a black marble 'gravestone'. There's room inside for two urns (husband and wife), the gravestone can be inscribed and there is a supplied flower holder. It's rented for ten years, renewable. I think this is a good idea, because it gives the family a focus for their remembrance instead of mourning at a garden containing thousands of others' ashes. Once ashes are scattered they can't be un-scattered, but with this arrangement the family can keep a focus for their remembrance of their loved one and have them scattered later when they feel the time is right.