please help

[elle.b]

my husband has moved out of our co owned home.leaving me with the 3 young children,can he make me sell? if not does he still have to pay his half of the mortgage? please answer before i blow up!

[silverdaler]

You need to see a solicitor quickly if he has not already agreed to support you and the children. If they are under 18 he cant force you to sell.
good luck hun x

[wolf63]

you would really be better contacting the Citizens Advice people or a solicitor about this - and if you do not work then you should also claim Income Support, or you may qualify for child tax credit if you are on a lower income because of him leaving.

[dot.hawkes]

inform your mortgage company immediately, if it is a recent mortgage you will not get housing benefit payments for some weeks, he has to make the payments if it is in your joint names until the social paymenst kick in, if you are working you will get WTC but if u aren't get a call into jobcentre plus now, they will do an appointment over the phone for the right benefit. Get advice about the right way of getting maintenance off him.

Ring the local council tax office and tell them what is happening and u will have to fill another form in for them, you should get all your council tax paid if you are only going to get income support, if you are on WTC you can save 25% on your councvil tax as a single adult.

You will be going nowhere until your youngest child finishes full time education so don't worry, make sure the mortgage company know his whereabouts too.

[lady_p_gold]

As previously said, just stay put, and try to just keep calm although it must be worrying for you. Just don't do anything in a knee jerk reaction. The mortgage is not in 'halves' it is down to both of you, and if you are looking after young children then it is basically down to him to pay the mortgage and maintenance.

[shammydodger]

It's grand is this equality business, aint it?

[RavenD]

Well to be honest you both pay for the property so it belongs to both of you regardless if you have any children it is still half of his property.

lady p gold, why should men always have to pay, it takes two to make a baby so both should pay towards the financial upkeep of the children.

[sense4all]

Naughty Shammy ! We know nothing of the circs. surrounding it. Nothing is fair in love or war ( splits etc )
I know both boys and girls who have been shafted in the break-up of relationships.

Elle, solicitors might offer the first half hour/hour free to decide if they can help you. Find a family specialist.

http://www.citizensadvice.org.uk/

http://www.rightsofwomen.org.uk/

http://www.divorceguideuk.co.uk/

http://www.divorceaid.co.uk/movingon/help/fina nces.htm

have a look at these sites to give you some ideas of what might be relevant to you.

An idea of scale of charges http://www.divorcezone.co.uk/9117.html

talk to someone going through the same thing ask them 'silly' questions you might not to ask your legal adviser
http://www.been-dumped.com/ harsh sounding title, sorry sweetie

go to ask .co.uk, and type divorce advice in the question line for other sites! Hope this helps to calm some of your concerns. Wishing you and your little ones all the best for the future. love Sense. X.

[Rock'n'Roll]

As a few have said. See an expert,CAB may help.
No matter how helpful we try to be on here,it's just amateur advice,you need professional. A bit more from an amateur... I don't think he can make yourself and children homeless. Good luck

[Pippa68]

Some decent advice here.

However with regards to the 'equality' comment I have to respond.

In my experience, when the husband leaves he also leaves his children to be cared for, in the main, by the mother. She no longer has the day to day support of her partner to tend to her children both physically or emotionally. She may also be losing her ability to work part time as the father is not there to help with childcare.

In that instance it is only fair to come to the conclusion that the 'equality' in the relationship has shifted due to the father leaving the home. Therefore he darned well should be paying the mortgage ~ raising children is expensive, possibly more so when you are alone. A lot of fathers 'buy their freedom' unless they pull their weight and take on the JOINT responsibilty of raising the children.

[elle.b]

shammy dodger, no it aint its *****! elle

[lady_p_gold]

Well Raven they don't always have to pay, if they stay at home and look after the children and the woman is on a high wage then it would work just the same. Its just that it is unlikely that she will be able to earn enough to pay childcare and the mortgage. Until such time as childcare is completely shared then I cannot see a change. Doesn't mean to say I think its fair or advocate it!

[Ms.Hijinx]

im so sorry to hear about whats happened he cannot make you sell until your last child has left full time education or becomes 18 at least thats what it was when i got divorced i dont know if they have updated it. good luck