boys and girls

[monkeemayhem]

hello, just a question to mums and dads in AB land, I have a 2yr old boy who is patient, calm, sweet, chatty, intelligent and can amuse himself with his toys for over an hour, my best friend has a little girl who is 6 months younger who is a devil child!. She screams, smacks, nicks toys off other children, has full blown tantrums (including head butting), needs constant attention...i think you get the idea! But my questions are will my little sunbeam start behaving this way as he gets older- am i just very lucky at the moment? Or is this a personality difference between all boys and girls under 2? I'd be interested to hear what other parents think because at the moment I've been put right off having a little girl if i got pregnant again!

[boobesque]

in my mums case us girls were the good ones and my brother was the nightmare child!

[morbidstorm]

Hiya,

It's not a gender thing, it's a parent thing. You will react differently to your Son's behaviour to how your friend reacts to her daughters behaviour.

You probably don't realise it when you do it, but you must in some way re-inforce your childs good behaviour when you talk to him, via your tone of voice etc.

When your friends Daughter misbehaves, she can probably hear her Mum's voice getting strained and see her temper wearing thin - which is the reaction she wants.

Chances are if you were to have a girl, her personality will be closer to your sons than to your mate's daughter, just because you are the Mum!!

[applebee]

I would really check up on the little one of yours, it seems suprising he is so well behaved! I would make sure your little one isn't just as bad as his little gal pal. Sometimes a mother's love can be blind :-) It seems that two year olds are all visual, and if he is spending all his time with her, I would think a few of her habits may rub off (or he would at least attempt it in the spirit of mimicry) lol...If your son really is that well behaved kudos to your parenting or genes or whatever it is that is currently stronger (nature vs. nuture argument always alive)

[Ms.Hijinx]

i agree with morbidstorm its a parent thing, both my children 1 of each were like your son when they were 2 and have stayed that way i have no trouble with either as yet. i did get a lot of they were good babies theyll be horrid toddlers then oh they were good toddlers theyll be horrid kids and now its theyll be awful teenagers you know- well i guess ill have to wait and see on that one but they know the rules and the boundaries and if they want them changed then they ask im quite liberal but if the answer is no it stays that way ,no argument cos they know it will not work to try to play me enjoy your lovely little boy and any more children you may have.

[Hellion]

It's a mixture of parenting and nature I think, my son was as you describe yours at that age, he is now 8, and yes he has his moments but he's still basically the same sweet natured child.

[Pippa68]

I will agree this is nothing to do with gender. I will also agree with Hellion, that it is a mixture of parenting & nature.

trust me..I have always used the same form of parenting..or tried to, but I have two 'naughty' children and two 'good' children! you do have to adjust your parenting to the childs needs & nature.

I would never put on a proud head and say that it is down to parenting full stop ~ because it isn't. So many people I know have had 2nd babies who are the complete opposite to the 1st, regardless of gender. The chances are your 2nd will be 'horrid'..whether a boy or girl ;o)

[Fish the Mod]

I think it is down to the how parents react to bad behaving children. My son though has his moments is calm and collective ( age 5) but his younger cousin is always beating the **** out of him. His parents make him say sorry each time and he still beats the **** out of him only to keep saying sorry ( He thinks that part of the deal). What I noticed is that there is no real conviction when they tell him off and it soon forgotton within seconds. Our son was sent to naught corner ( either the bottom stair or front door for 5 to 15 mins) without exception and it still works.

[monkeemayhem]

thank you to everyone who has taken the time to leave their thoughts!
you have made me look upon the situation in a new light, I've now noticed if my friends girl has a tantrum she will play along with it and ty to reason with her, if its a full blown "floor tantrum" she'll pick her up and cuddle her. Im the total opposite, i will ignore my boy if he's in tantrum mode. (doesn't happen often because he knows theres no point moaning!) - my friends girl threw a ball at my sons head yesterday and my friend told her off and smacked her hand.(punishing violent behaviour with violence??!!) the baby did it again 15mins later.
If i were to comment on the way she disciplines her child she'll never speak to me again!!
mod the fish- We use the naughty corner aswell, but we've heard it should be 1 min for every year of the childs life? Naughty corners are great, it gives you a chance to calm down if tempers are getting frayed!!

[Sparkles3]

Just to say, whilst I think parenting plays an enormous part, I have to agree with those who say that the individual child's nature has a equal role to play. I have a nearly 4 year old boy who is incredibly good natured like your son (although I must say that 3-4 has been a more testing time with other influences from pre-school etc!), but my 2 year old daughter is far more of a drama queen, throwing herself to the floor at the slightest opportunity. The fact that we ignore that means that the tantrum doesn't last long - but it still happens because it is her nature. I think reinforcement of good behaviour is essential and ignoring bad behaviour equally so, but some children will be naturally more 'spirited'. As Pippa68 says, don't be lulled into a false sense of security that all your offspring will be the same because of the way you bring them up!!